Daily Essentials

jarang nge-blog karena...

2012-01-16T21:22:00.004+08:00

banyak deh pasti alasannya hahahah...

dari sibuk gak ada waktu, gak bisa lama2 depan komputer *blom dibeliin ipad sama suami siiih :p* trus internetnya susah, dan lain-lain. bisa sebenernya ketik dari bb sih tapi malas..enakan chatting kalo mau curhat :p

jadi kesibukannya sekarang..sibuk ikutan kampanye asi eksklusif :) very fun karena mikirnya ini sangat berguna bagi banyak ibu dan bayi. dan tercetuslah ide menyewakan breastpump atau pompa asi ini :)

berawal dari pengalaman sendiri waktu hamil sebelum beli pompa asi rasanya kok sayang banget yah beli pompa asi mahal banget. mikirnya iya kalo asinya banyak sampe bisa dipompa (dulu belum ngerti), trus kalo kepake, kalo bagus...*tapi merek Medela blom ada yang bilang jelek sih sampe skarang* jadi menyewakannya merek Medela.

ibu-ibu ini demi iklan asi eksklusif dan ayo silahkan yang mau coba pompa aja kerumah saya *gratis* dan mau sewa *ada tarif sewanya tentunya ;) karena pompanya muahal yah poin utamany * silahkan email saya di titin.sutono@gmail.com atau comment di blog ini atau sms ke hp saya dibawah ada yah di namecardnya... atau mau tanya-tanya macem-macem mengenai asi saya jawab sebisanya, kalo gak tau jawabannya akan saya refer ke ahli-ahli laktasi di Bali Peduli Asi.

dan... semoga februari ini bisa ikut kelas dan dapet "pangkat" jadi ahli laktasi.
amin! :)

2012-01-16T21:19:00.000+08:00

sewa pompa asi - bali

2012-01-16T21:15:00.001+08:00

Ayo dukung ASI eksklusif!

ASI (Air Susu Ibu) merupakan makanan terbaik dan terpenting bagi bayi selama 6 bulan pertama hidupnya dan sangat baik jika diteruskan hingga bayi berusia 2 tahun. Manfaat ASI tidak dapat ditemukan dan ditandingi makanan atau susu apapun. ASI mengandung berbagai vitamin dan antibodi yang tidak terdapat dalam susu formula sehingga bayi yang minum ASI memiliki ketahanan lebih baik daripada yang tidak minum ASI. Untuk jangka panjang, ASI meningkatkan kecerdasan intelektual serta mengurangi resiko diabetes, stroke, kanker, penyakit jantung.

Salah satu cara agar produksi ASI berlimpah adalah dengan sering mengosongkan payudara. Agar memerah ASI cepat dan mudah, breastpump (pompa ASI) menjadi alat bantu yang sangat berguna.
Bermacam merek dan tipe breastpump terkadang membuat para ibu bingung menentukan pilihan.
Supaya tidak salah beli lebih baik para ibu menyewa dulu dan kalau sudah cocok barulah membeli :)

Mendukung ASI eksklusif, kami menyewakan berbagai tipe breastpump merek Medela yang sangat popular di kalangan para ibu menyusui di seluruh dunia karena teknologinya yang menyerupai kealamian bayi menyusu.

Info lebih lanjut menyewa breastpump (pompa ASI):
Titin Sutono
Titin.sutono@gmail.com
081 834 6656

2012-01-01T00:49:00.001+08:00

Happy new year!! xoxo
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Today.

2011-10-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

AΰdƦĩ is 3 months, 2 days old.
She's stunningly beautiful:)
Someday I'm gonna miss her today's smile,laugh,gibberish,the way she looks at me as if I'm extraordinary; how I love to hold and kiss her; how I just simply know what she needs.

We got new friends from JKI Semarang.
We got a new mission.
We got connected.

Someday, I'm gonna miss today:)

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Asix

2011-09-26T14:58:00.000+08:00

Info mengenai fakta breastfeeding ini didapat dari milis asi for baby (afb), thread weddingku: asi penting banget part 1-3 (iyah sampe 3 thread ƗƗɐƗƗɐˆ⌣ˆ), dan of cos pengalaman pribadi.

Prinsip produksi asi: supply and demand.
Makin banyak demand (pd sering dikosongin) makin banyak produksi asi. Jadi gak bener prinsip tiap org takaran asinya beda2 dan bisa abis tiba2 kalo sudah mencapai limit.
Asi itu spt keringet. Tubuh memproduksi otomatis bila diperlukan.

Prinsipnya gitu ajah. Makanan tambahan macem katuk,kacang dll bisa jadi menambah asi, tp asi itu lebih ke mindset. Jadi kalo kita mikir asinya banyak,maka asi akan banyak. Kalo kita percaya katuk bisa bikin banyak asi,akan terjadi spt itu. walopun emang bener kalo diliat kandungannya bisa nambah produksi asi tp kalo kita gk percaya,tetep asi-nya gak nambah.

Fakta who: hanya 1 dari 10ribu wanita yg tidak dapat memproduksi asi.

Ini pengalamanku:
Pas hamil aku udah beli breastpump. Aku belinya medela swing krn kata testimony org2, ini yg paling enak dipake.

Hari 1 kolostrum kluar, AΰdƦĩ dapet bbrp tetes. Tapi karena rumah sakit mata duitan dan suster2 tidak kompeten mereka nganjurin nambahin sufor. Dan aku yg masih capek+stress sm si dokter gebleg tambah bingung denger AΰdƦĩ nangis jerit2 kata suster kelaperan.
Hari 2 masih kolostrum. Campur sufor
Hari 3 asi+sufor
Hari 4 mulai pompa. Cuma dpt 10ml per pompa. Campur sufor
Hari 5 mulai putus asa. Nyusuin menyiksa punggung. Gakmau nyusuin lg,mau pompa aja. Masi dpt 10-15ml
Hari 6 mulai 30ml, dan stress kejar tayang. Sepanjang hari mompa mulu. Tiap jam mompa dan setengah jam cuma dpt 30ml (waktu itu AΰdƦĩ minumnya juga 30ml). Hari 6 mulai asix.

Tiap mompa aku stress berat apalagi malem-subuh. Capek,kurang tidur sampe akhirnya pingsan. Tiap mompa krn bosan dan butuh dukungan aku baca2 milis asi,fakta asi+thread asi.

Disana aku baca,makin rutin mompa makin banyak. Jd makin semangat. Siang-malem per 2jam pasti mompa. Setelah seminggu (penuh frustasi dan ampir nyerah asi) lg ngantuk2 pompa tiba2 botolnya full! Hehehhe mulai saat itu full terus sampe bingung taro dimana gapunya botol. Ampe skrg tetep banyak.

Kalo aku mundurin mompa jadi per 4jam: produksi jadi menurun. Kalo mau naekin produksi: lebih sering pompa.

Skarang ngontrolnya caranya gitu aja. Klo lg pgn banyak,sering pompa. Kalo lg gk ada botol aku jarangin mompa. Tp gk otomatis ya, otak perlu mikir kali utk produksinya. Itu perlu 3-4hari baru stabil (masing2 org beda tp).

Kira2 gitu. Jadi klo mau asix, start pumping 2jam skali pasti jd banyak:D please email me: titin.sutono@gmail.com jika ada pertanyaan.

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Popo, Kungkung & AΰdƦĩ

2011-09-26T14:45:00.000+08:00

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A big leap.

2011-09-13T21:15:00.000+08:00

Today is too important to be not remembered.

We went to the hospital to get DPT and prepared the worst. But she only screamed once and back to sleep in a mili second. She then slept for 4hours, had lots of milk in between and woke up giggly.

She sure talks a lot today, a big changed compared to yesterday (yes we had a rough nite lastnite due to her changes).

I enjoyed: her sweet smile when she looked at me and tried to talk to me when I tucked her to sleep.

Love being her mom:)
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2mos Audrina Deborah Setia

2011-09-09T12:46:00.000+08:00

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Enjoying motherhood & breastfeeding

2011-09-09T11:59:00.001+08:00

AΰdƦĩ was born on July 4th, at week 38 tat is. She's 3,110kgs ; 51cm. She's perfect:)

Oh and after contracting for almost one and half day, it went cesarian cos we got a stupid-mean doctor. Thank God our life's only depending on Him. Klo tergantung itu dokter, celakalah..heheh

I had my couple of weeks baby blues syndrome - I guess I could say it was tat syndrome I had with the tears, up and down emotion.

1st week.
C-sect still hurt. Everything hurts including the boobs. Plus no showering allowed. AΰdƦĩ feed by bottle since my back hurts.

2nd week.
Exclusive breastfeeding. I prefer to pump it than latch on. Lack of sleep, lack of patient and I got fainted.

X weeks...
AΰdƦĩ hit our patients with her cries. This baby is spoiled! Thanks to the granma+granpa -.-*

.....

She's 9 weeks, 4 days today.
Back to breastfeeding.
She smiles when she's happy.
This morning she smiled when she looked at me.

Last nite she was furious. Our guess: becos I donated some of her frozen milk. Heheh gaktau loh kalo baby punya insting kuat begini. Pertamanya dia nangis waktu yg mau ngambil susu dateng. Orangnya dah pegi,dia diem. Tarnya nangis lagi, ngamuk sm maminya. Digendong papinya diem, digendong maminya marah-marah dan akhirnya tidur sama poponya jam 2 pagi. Nah loh jadi bahasa indo haha..spy cepet dan cengli curcolnya :p

Pagi2 liat maminya dia senyum manis, trus nenen dgn semangat, trus muntah -.-'

Being a mum is incredible!!! I never knew I could feel this way. Never knew this kind of feeling exists...

Haish cerita apa lg yah too many heheh..
Oh and I became besties sm 2 of mums wk yg tiap hari chat di bbm. Cannot wait to see them in person:)

AΰdƦĩ is super duper cute (klo lg gak nangis..hehe) and I'm getting used being staying @home mum.

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2011-06-27T14:03:00.001+08:00

hi xxxxx,

i read ur msg lastnite before going to bed and for unknown reason, i was overwhelmed heheh *perhaps pregnancy hormone*

its so considerate of you to arrange the baby shower, but i really dont want one, not being modest, just dont want one :)

im struggling on many things now and i dont hv my mind on the shower at all and i really dont think its fair for u guys *sigh

i admit ive been stressing on many things during the pregnancy and i do excusing myself from having it just because i read that it is normal. but at the end of the day when i read god's words i always feel guilty from having the pregnancy syndromes and sometimes it stressing me evenmore. im sharing this with you not because u're soon getting pregnant ; but i hope it doesnt happen to u (prepare urself from now!)

being pregnant, i just realized that im the kind that not easy to let go and let God. i found that im not as flexible as i thought. i thought can go to the shop, doing my daily things but more relax - but when im at work i cannot stop myself from doing everything including moving heavy things around (because i *think* im strong enough), walking (sometimes running) around serving the customers,etc but then i regret it when the bleeding happened (twice). ive been trying to help mike from home but i keep stressing and quarelling with mike over things because i was frustated i cannot go to the shop or able doing it myself. i want it done my way and mike wants to do it other way.

because i used to work (and make money), im now feeling very very moody everytime i talk to friends whom busy working, or pregnant but still working, or anything reminds me that im a housewife --* im stressing because i dont know how long this will going on. i want to be happy, really i dooooo... i wanna be happy because having child is a happy thing, rite? heheheh...

thanks to weddingku.com, they hv this forum for pregnant ladies and i found a group of friends from around java (there"re 9 of us) with the same age of pregnancy. basically we share everything bout life at the moment. 3 of them are having babies already (c-section after giving up on the contraction pain), and they're having baby blues and it really freaks me out -.-* they complains on the c-section blues (the pain, the guilty feeling) and hurt boobies and the sleep deprived.

okay enough said. u got my point. i dont want the baby shower, thanks. haha:p hope i dont scare u!

New mates on pregnacy...

2011-06-06T21:20:00.001+08:00

Kalo berhasil nemuin ini blog (bukan multiply hahahah) yes one of the new mates is u, Marince;p

Aduh Tuhan tengkiu yah selama hamil dpt temen-temen baru yg sangat menyenangkan dan menghibur; thanks to blackberry juga of cos dan xl utk biaya chatting yg amat sangat murah...tp jgn sering lemot yah;)

Anyway, its week 35 now and we're counting every hour (saking seringnya braxton hicks kmaren-kmaren). I've got this feeling my daughter bakal lahir anytime sooner than the doctor expected heheh..

Semua barang kayaknya udah ready,udah dicuci..blom dimasukin tas ajah..tp yg melegakan,tasnya dah kebeli kmaren (finally,mike!).

To my new mates...all the best for all of us. Gak sabar kopdar-an!

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2011-02-22T17:55:00.000+08:00

Approaching week 20.

Everybody says my tummy is very small and I don't look pregant at all.

I don't really care as long as the baby's healty and hv normal weight. And she is (yes the doctor said it's a she!) :)

One of the benefits having small tummy, I think, I can feel the baby's kicking earlier than the books say it shuld be.

So its been 2 weeks I've been feeling her every moves (I felt it earlier but not this strong), whatever she does I think I can feel it. When she flips, swim around, play with the umblical cord, and of cos, kicking. And girl, u kick really hard.

She kicks till I rub my tummy. She kicks till I push my tummy where her foot at and she replies it back with stronger kicks. It goes like that several times a day.

I'm overwhelmed:)
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2011-01-28T21:57:00.000+08:00

I *think* I feel the baby's kicking today :)
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No, it's not Eve's fault

2010-12-28T16:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, like today, I need a reminder that a tiny human is growing inside my tummy.

So yes, I'm thankful for the all-day-sickness.

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:)

2010-11-10T17:15:00.000+08:00

I'm 5 weeks pregnant today:)
I might going to start another blog soon, marking the new journey.
I just think peope reading my blog-as a mum shuldnt be confuse with the young&naive me.

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Curhat (nggak) penting banget.

2010-10-22T12:20:00.000+08:00

Ini postingan beberapa hari lalu di Titin Sutono Setia's FB:
4taon tgl d aussie, denger kotbah & nyanyi pake bhs indo; setaon tgl d china, sama juga tiap ibadah pake bhs indo. Tp skrg tgl d indo tiap ke greja denger kotbah & lagu bhs inggris, sampe pengumumannya pun pake english pdhl 90% yg dtg org Indo T.T whyyyy??? *sobs*

Iya, ini curhatan hati terdalam. Niatnya jadi berkat untuk org Bali tp kenapa ya 'program'nya pake bahasa inggris? Jd nge-gap bgt kannn org kaga ngerti gitu apaan yg diomongin dan jd berasa bgt beda budayanya. Bukannya Paulus bilang, '...bagi orang Yahudi, aku menjadi seperti orang Yahudi...' There you go. Apa sih yg lebih obvious daripada bahasa (dan itu jg mencerminkan budaya)?

Anyway, trus bosen lagu2nya. Sebagus apapun lagu, klo dinyanyiin tiap minggu, selama setaon, eneg juga kan?! Dan yg ga ngerti bhs inggris jadi membeo aja ikut nyanyi tanpa ngerti artinya apa.

I don't wanna 'cry out' every week. Iya, ini sindiran. Eh bukan sindirian, ini protes terang-terangan. Knp si cry out asking god to send down his love terus-terusan kalo his love utk kita is there all the time? Kecuali klo gak beriman sudah terima, yah memang wajar terus-terusan kali ya.

And..the huge question mark is, kenapa gak pindah greja aja? Jawabannya:MAU banget tp gak dibolehin skarang-skarang ini sm Tuhan.

Bete bete bete!

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boring afternoon.

2010-10-14T13:31:00.000+08:00

Whenever I read someone's blog, I want to blog.
I'm the kind of person who wants something when I see it suits another person. At least on this blogging thingy. hahaa.

I guess when I'm having desktop wired to internet @ the shop I'd blog everyday. I think if I hv my own (cute white) notebook I'd blog every single thing happen in my life:p

But I don't hv them.

So. Ill just have to deal with it with my blackberry. Why the blog bother me tat much? Because the truth is, blogging makes me feel like I hv accomplish a summary of my life. If in a sudden I hv to left this world, I hv marked my existence in the internet (once it goes to the net, it's there forever, rite) and I shared my fool experience and wise ones too of cos to my brothers, friends and whoever u are my fellow human being :)

I'm in the state of 'being the happiest' I ever reached in my life this 27years. I'm saying this because God has given me His ♥ & revelation more than ever. Somehow it brings me joy I can never found in this world. There's certain feeling of loneliness in my ♥ not being able to completely share this to anyone except God. In my understanding, no one would understand it except the person God has given the revelation to.

I'm giving up trying to understand my complicated mind (yet God's) and also others. It is very true that peace and joy is when we're in God's sacred place.

So friends, whenever I'm sharing the gospel with u, I'm not and never trying to make u change ur religion or anything;I just wanna share my experience, an amazing journey that will set u free.

Call me if u're interested ;)
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Grumpiness kills.

2010-08-31T12:13:00.000+08:00

Baru dapet rhemanya: bersungut-sungut itu dosa banget, dan di perjanjian lama (Bilangan), karena umat Israel mengeluh ke-10 kalinya (setelah dikasi manna, setelah dipimpin tiang awan dll dll!!!) akhirnya Tuhan menyerahkan mereka ke dalam tangan maut.

Pujilah Tuhan, hai jiwaku!
Mazmur 103:1a.
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I see them everywhere.

2010-07-29T11:11:00.000+08:00

Yes I see pregnant women everywhere! On the street, on facebook (my friend's pregnant pics), on tv!!! (Quinn Fabray, Lynette Scavo, etc ect).

My bestfriend is pregnant, my not so close friends too. Even in the church, people I dunno are preggers or holding babies.

Now tat I'm not pregnant yet, maybe its a sign from above tat I shuld take the opportunity and chance to open a baby shop! Ha!

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wish.

2010-07-09T10:57:00.000+08:00

I really need all ur prayers.

Let me be pregnant last nite oh Lord.. Amen.
;p

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Maybe u need my explanation.

2010-07-08T12:23:00.000+08:00

The reason I'm lazy to write is because most of the time I feel my life isn't interesting anymore, or too plain, or too many downside I'm having and its gonna sound like I'm complaining whilst its not. Sometimes only a nice dvd can make the day, or a stupid customer ruins it. Its life.

And of cos for u who knows me, I always aim high. Its true tat nothing satisfy me and my biggest struggle is trying to content with the present and not looking back at yesterday. As for tomorrow, tomorrow is always good because I know my God is huge.

I'm sure we all remember when the world was fun and all we think about is scoring some cool office job and saying this is a great start, ill be on the Times, one day. Ill do something great and my carreer will bring me to whenever I wanna go. And the lists goes on.

And several years had passed, now we think, oookay, cari duit susahnya minta ampun! Ill just find a rich husband and hv kids and being a housewife not tat bad. But then, finding a rich husband - correction - finding a husband is damn hard as well!

Seems like life is full of sets of settling down.

So here's what I learnt.

Do settle. And everything will go smoothly in a way u can never expected, opportunities will present themselves, and the one we didn't believe in: luck, will be with u.

Also, never ever compare ur life with others. We all have our own portion of everything God needs ask to fulfill to make the settling down worth it.

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my broken ♥ caused by this.

2010-07-03T15:54:00.000+08:00

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Emergency

2010-06-30T16:02:00.000+08:00

I think I'm reaping what I sowed.
Good and bad.
In anything and everytime, god's law is never fail.

‎☺k. I'm declaring that the emergency alert is on!

When we go to the church and got sleepy because of the boring preacher (and maybe becos we watched the soccer the nite before), and my dad said to me: we have to pray because the evil is trying to take god's words away from us by making us sleepy! ‎

I'm amazed. And it woke me up. Not because I prayed casting the devil, but good Lord! My dad is getting wiser by the Spirit everyday!

How did it happen? I dunno.

And then. According to my dad, even the boring preacher (whether I watched the soccer till 4am or not he's still boring) could be the messenger send by the Holy Spirit. Well well. Is tat true?

Me myself is very intriqued. The Holy Spirit itself is the connector between us and the Father, rite. Could be my dad is not sensitive yet and the preacher speaks what the Spirit told him to?

Gosh why didn't I read my Bible more often and pray more and more so I got the answer?? And before the clueless killing me softly. Worse than that, might be tomorrow is Jesus' second coming!

Emergency alert!!!

Oh and, yes, God made my family go to church every Sunday now. Let's rejoice! And let's read the Bible.

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Here and now.

2010-06-10T11:38:00.000+08:00

Ohmaigudnesss

Its been almost a year I left this blog!

Okay quick update:
Married life is awesome! I'm so recommeding it for you all ;p

Errr okay I admit sometimes its not tat awesome when my hubby mistakenly taking my towel instead of his; when he forget to put down the toilet seat; when he wear his fave pajamas for the 4th times in a row; when the worldcup season is here!!! *not a big fan of bola, especially at 2am!*

We're trying to hv a baby and I really do hope we can hv it soon, although I'm sure juggling between household, the shops (there're 2 now), and a baby is a lot to handle. But I just know we're gonna survive *fingers crossing* so people, we really need ur prayers!

Our piping system at the house (aka ruko) is a mess and last time we use the washing machine, the water goes all the way from the 3rd floor to the 1st and the water got into my room too on 2nd floor. So now we're sending the laundry to my mum's until the problem solved. I'm happier just becos my mum's maid ironing the laundry. I never iron them unless necessary. Folding is the new ironing;p (fellow wives without maid, do not try this at home).

My inner circle friends are wider added with my hubby's, tat is. But this is Bali and we don't go to restaurants or to the beach on weekdays. Well sometimes we do, once in every blue moon. Church friends.. Errhhh..no comment on tat. Thank God for my parent's komsel (read: oikos, cellgroup, connect group, etc) we join them every wednesday and its always been refreshing now and then.

Today:
We got 1 more new staff, hoping he'll last.
Happy bday to my friends: Ken Hamada & Eva; to my cousin: Edward.
Going to australian alumni gathering @ aussie embassy tonite and hoping they serve food without vegemite.

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another love letter

2009-07-28T14:34:00.000+08:00

My dear dear dear customer, I know my shop is at pasar, but it aint mangga dua where I put unreasonable price and u bargain it half of how much I'm saying.

I sell fixed price becos I can't afford the headache dealing with ur nagging just for rp.500. Panadol costs more than that.

If u buy more quantity, yes u get lower price becos tats the law of jualan. Don't ask me why, becos I don't wanna hv to explain something tat is too much for ur errr.. Let's just say its too much for ur brain to handle.

Please please pleaseee don't asked me the price of a dozen if u intend to only buy one. It really irritates me. And pardon my (fake-lebay) reaction whenever rob me by asking me to give u the same price as dozen-an price. Silly u. Tats what would I say if I knew u're joking. But u're not, so shame on u!!!

battlefield of the mind.

2009-07-24T09:01:00.000+08:00

Alrite, today is mendung again and been 12hours since my melancholy dna kicking in. And I'm sure its nothing to do with grey's anatomy.

"Tidak ada temperamen yg memiliki demikian byk potensi alamiah selain melankolis bila diberi kekuatan oleh Roh Kudus."
-Tim LaHaye

As I said to my bestfren last nite, we, melan ppl know very best tat it is so true, melancholy the most driven temperament of all. Sometimes the environment affecting us, but most of the time we'll just drawn in our own sadness created in our mind.

Okay, here's an online doc I found by Tim Lahaye.

Meet Mr. Melancholy
Collins Dictionary (2004) “fs you describe someone as a melancholic, you mean that they are very sad.”
Mr. Melancholy is analytical, self-sacrificing, gifted, perfectionist type, with a very sensitive emotional nature. No one gets more enjoyment from the fine arts than the melancholy.
Unlike Mr. Sanguine, he does not make friends easily.
His exceptional analytical ability causes him to diagnose accurately the obstacles and dangers of any project he has a part in planning.
Many of the world’s great artists, musicians, inventors, educators were of the Melancholy temperament. Such of these were: Moses, Elijah and Solomon.

Me? Very sad? No I'm noooot. I am capable to be happy!!! Yes I know tats true -.-*

'No one gets more enjoyment from the fine arts than the melancholy.' Yet this is very true as well. We dooo enjoy whatever it is god gives and god creates for us. We delight in his creation. Well the fact tat we appreciate it so much is the reason why we resent it so much if we see someone seems not appreciating it.

For example is my wedding. Its a gift from god. Its my happy day. MY moment and I'm the star of the day. Not my parents not my in laws. So pleaseeee preciate this particular god's gift!!! Grhh I'm resting my case. Only melan ppl understand this -.-*

The point of my writing is to justify my right being so melan about my wedding. so this post served its purpose. I'm gonna go watch more grey's.

in the mood for romance

2009-07-21T15:14:00.001+08:00

Meet shopisticated men of the world and captivating women in glamorous, international settings. Seduction and passion guaranteed.

-eharlequin.com.

I spent the day reading online books on the database of fantasy and romance and gosh it's addicting!!!

Why oh why Lord, u create us woman helplessly romantic and desperate for combination of sexy alpha male-danger-adventure-and money??

After 2 hours straight staring at my blackberry and suffered neck pain, my brain screamed: I want a boyfriend!!! *not a future hubby* hahahhhaha.

Well. Enough for tempting myself now, I'm gonna continue with mary higgins clark's. Brain exercise and to kick me back to reality. *and I can hear u say: huh? reality mah baca kompas!!!

kok sepi bgt si hr ini?!

2009-07-16T09:39:00.000+08:00

Mike: Yang lampu kamar mau kaya gmn? Colokan di wc satu cukup?
Moi: Lampu biasa ajah putih gt. Colokan 1 cukup buat hair dryer doang.
Mike: Lampu bunder? Dipaduin sm kuning mau? Biar ada suasana romantis ;p
Moi: up to u darling! As long as I hv lock in my bathroom.

Yesh, lately after my confession of being neurotic I found out more things defined me as a neurotic. I demand to hv lock on my bathroom! I'm not gonna be able to do 'activities' if I'm not 'alone'.

Anyway, the renovation is going well eventhough not all our wishes are fulfilled. Mike jadi mandor for 2 weeks now and we rarely see each other. Our precious time is before bed time, watching Criminal Minds *hotch is very hot* on which everytime I finish watching I wanted so bad to be a group member of BAU and solving cases hahah. About me puking when seeing blood is not a problem since I'm gonna see bule's blood *seems not too scary than indonesian's haha apa seeh*

Haish. I'm gonna go back to kindaichi. To work I mean *boring morning and I hv only 1 staff today*

2009-07-13T14:11:00.000+08:00

Vonny: i thot ur conclusion is abt curiousity -.-
Titin Sutono: It iss dibawahnya
Titin Sutono: Curiousity is caused by neurosis
Vonny: only one sentence -.-
Vonny: nooo
Vonny: wait...
Titin Sutono: The neurotic part explains everything
Vonny: no u didnt say that !!!
Vonny: u didnt say that curiousity is caused by neurosis =.=
Titin Sutono: Okay ill add it.
Vonny: but still it doesnt really help or explain -.-"
Vonny: so ur conclusion we just cant help it rite
Vonny: no titin, surely theres smthing can be done
Titin Sutono: Haish told u ga ada except km dpt jwbannya
Titin Sutono: Itu jg kalo satisfy kamu ;p
Vonny: i have a way to suppress this curiousity
Vonny: but itll produce a worse me
Vonny: and i think im bad already
Vonny: so better stay curious than becoming worse...
Titin Sutono: Gimana;p
Vonny: just simply increase my ignorance :P
Titin Sutono: --* okay
Vonny: but believe me no one like a more ignorant me :P
Vonny: so lemme die curious hahaha

This is how we spend our noons.

i am neurotic.

2009-07-13T13:00:00.001+08:00

I've suspected this a long time ago. Until I found a website for neurotics ppl, and I'm convinced. And I'm not embarassed cos now I know I'm not alone and this is not an early sign of craziness. I know its true since i've lived 25 yrs and I'm doing good. I think..

I never fully open my bedroom's door because I'm afraid the house lizard (a.k.a cicak) will go inside of the room. I also act as if I'm not gonna open the door when I'm gonna open it to fool the cicak.

I loathe cicak to death and everytime I found one in my room I haunt it and kill it with at least half bottle of insectiside and my room flooded by the poison.

I always hv to turn off the ac before the car engine is turned off.

if somehow a noise wake me up other than my alarm, ill get cranky the rest of the day.

I never mop my room with the appropriate cleaning agents and do it with wet tissues instead.

I stop buying hand sanitizers cos I'm addicted to it.

Whenever I hv to count to 40, ill get tangled up on 33, 34, 33 again and I hv to super seriously get my concentate on to get to 35. I'm not stupid.

I always make sure I say 'thank u' back when I got a 'thank u from ppl. If they say 'thank u' again ill repeat my 'thank u' again until they stop. I always hv to be the last saying 'thank u'.

I'm meticulous with words. I correct ppl's mistakes and very annoyed if they do tat again.

I hv to clean up and do stuffs such as reading, browsing for at least 15mins before showering. It makes me hv to be in rush drying my hair but it never stops me to do so.

And..many more.

How do women cope with their neuroses?

Apparently they blog.

“Among female students only, those who scored highly on neuroticism (i.e. anxious, insecure characters) were more likely to blog. This is consistent with work on internet usage that also found an association with neurotic personality types, but only among women.”

(@ The British Psychological Society: Research Digest Blog)

Curiousity Kills?
I hv a theory that thinking is addictive and curiousity is bad if u're a thinker. Being curious, we couldn't stop thingking. Vice versa.

Ps. Von, it's ur faith. Accept it.

confession of the plastic seller.

2009-07-11T14:30:00.001+08:00

Back then, I used to laugh at my mum for her truly genuine interest on plastic. The texture the colour the thickness the size the brand she even smell, feel them. My mum collecting plastics like pemulung;p Everyweek we shop useless stuffs and weird tasting food just becos she wants to hv the packaging, to feel it and save them in her office even it smells awful. She also collects plastic bags, bring them to the shop to re use them. So if u shop in my mum's, u might end up bringing the goods in tiara dewata plastic bag.

Well, true is why they saying like father like son. And now I'm saying like mother like daugher. Or I'm cursed for ketawain my mum.

I'm now like her!! And I'm worse becos I'm very pelit super stingy!! Now every plastic bags I hv from shopping I bring them to my shop to re use them. I ask for plastic bags everytime and everywhere I shop. I ask my brother to go bolak balik shopping di toko sebelah twice in 5 mins instead of buy them at once becos I want more plastic bags! I become so obsessed and now my subconcious is tickling me about reducing plastic for a better world.

My goodnesss! I can hear my brain says: but I'm just using and selling it I'm not producing it and jesus is coming soon and plastic no plastic the world is going to end anyway.

There go my explanation.

i and u and them.

2009-07-09T10:37:00.001+08:00

Getting married sends my mind wonder about my ex-es, well not only them but also my ttm in the past and those whom let me 'bertepuk sebelah tangan'... I'm not in the mood searching my past writings but as far as I know myself, I'm a kind of writer who's worry writing any happy 'happening' news since I'm worry it'd ruin the jinx. Or what if things aren't going well like I expected and I've read about it over time *cos tats what I do with my blog: read it to kill sm time or when I'm about to mk big splash huge decision in my life*.

Well, I've never mention names I guess...apalagi foto yak huehhauheu. Those in my past are 'ppl whose names are not spoken';p

I remember him, my bestfren and my seemed-forever crush (hmm..chemistry is chemistry, rite!), then..him who likes me so much but I was too afraid to be commited (back then I was scared with word 'jadian'), then himmm the charming-bastard (later on I found out he's got 3 gf in the same time and 2 of them r bestfrended each other. Damn he's gud!). Then him, the silly funny one and now I dont hv any clues why I liked him.

Then him and him, then my bestfren's charming cousin hehheh cinlok bgt, then him my ttm yg juga cinlok, then him *finoy I bet u're laughing now, itu tuhhh cowo yg aku adore pas di bentley and now Im wondering very hard kenapa yahhh pas itu bisa2nya suka*. Then him yg very very cool but later on I thank god tuhan ga kasi sm dia, then him yg cina totok bgt hahahahah *ta,cik,can, kok lu pada ga mencegah gw pas itu sihhh adohh* untung pas itu ada si D yang menyelamatkan gw hahahah. And overlapping with D, there's T, si daun mudaaaa;p

And then him, the gentleman yet adorable bastard who turned my life upside down, whom now married and many times I ask god what shuld I do if we pass each other on the street..shuld I smile and say hi?

And finallly, thank god for michael. Hhaha. Such a long long way to goooo!!!

normalization.

2009-07-02T15:48:00.000+08:00

So this is what 'engaged' and 'I'm getting married' means. Endless flipping thru wedding magazines, enormous options of dresses, flowers, cakes, ribbons, countless 'locations' and food testing. And I wished I hv my private atms since we need to transfer downpayments everynow and then to the vendors.

Yes we decided not to use a wedding organizer and basically do all the tasks alone. It save a lot of money, not time though, but we're very satisfied and happy with what we hv now and cannot be thankful enough to family and friends for their help and suggestions.

I'm getting fat! Some says cos mike's here and I'm happy nesting, (finally) enjoying our togetherness, but there's a suspicion saying I'm depressed and there's no way to run from food everytime seeing mike's appetite!!

So this is what 'normal' feels like. Maybe. Work 8-4, watching dvds, gyms, dinner out sometimes, and sleep. Boring life indeed. But for now I just love it. The search for dresses for the pre-wed pic is a nice distraction. I don't miss my 'old' life running in the mall at all (yet) and I'm happy to say that I'm happily engaged and this is the moment I'm enjoying and content with my life.

We're somehow still in search for our church but meanwhile we're doing good but we're quite desperate to find our oikos but we wanna keep our hopes high.

So this is my wishfull thingkin: 4 months from now, when we're married and settled and got the 'pattern', we're soon to be a married-society member, up and go with pack scheduling for dinners, couple hang-outs, and many more activities involving mr and mrs title. And I promise myself we won't soon to be 'that' couple, who talk endlessly of furnitures, what to cook on dinner, gardening..etc etc;p

huh.

2009-06-26T15:13:00.000+08:00

Beberapa bulan yg lalu si Mike bilang acara Termehek-mehek tuh boongan. Alasannya si mike, kalo tuh org sampe ngamuk2 trus brantem krn di shooting, pasti kameramennya yg ditabok duluan.

Eh eh ternyata emang tuh acara boongan katanya krn yg episode di Bali, yg jadi ibunya tuh jualan canang (bunga buat sembayang) di pasar, ngaku kalo dia dapet uang buat jadi 'ibu' di Termehek-mehek.

Gak puas dgn kabar santer yg beredar, hasil research di internet pun jawabannya sama. Fufuuf..

Indonesia indonesia.. Reality show pun boong --*

Justice or God's favour?

2009-06-25T08:44:00.000+08:00

Last nite we went to the airport to pick up dad and my bro. It was a very crowded nite considering there was several huge planes landing at the same times. The parking was unbelievable and we had to stay in the car while waiting.
We waited quite far from the departure terminal. Tats why when my dad called they're finished with the baggage and they're outside, we decided to take the car and go to the pick up zone. That's when mike accidentally hit a car. It wasn't too bad judging from the hit sound, but apparently leaves scratches on both cars.

A guy (later on we found out he's a police officer) came and asked mike for his licenses and go to the police office with him. Truth is I couldn't think at that moment. I rushed to get to my dad and kept praying. As he arrived, he went to the police office as well.

While everything is so unclear and I was worried, and my mum keep expressing her thoughts (she strongly sured the polices are asking for money), I was in questions: should I ask for justice or should I ask for God's favour?

About 45mins later (they hv to wait the other car's owner coming to the office), we're finally free to go home. Without having to pay for a dime.

The police said the other car parked at the wrong spot. So its not entirely our fault. The other car asked mike (for money) for the insurance administration. Mike agreed but before he spoke anything, the police reminded the other car's owner of his fault and he put down his request and we're go without paying anything.

Justice or God's favour?
I now believe justice and fairness could only be happen with God's favour.

Thank u Ngurah Rai's police officers, u guys r awesome!;)

this weekend.

2009-06-20T12:54:00.000+08:00

I'm at the shop. Another boring day. I hope its becos the shop is newly open. I refused to believe the 'common sense' that this month is school holiday thus people are at home with the children and they're saving money for the school fee for the coming year. Don't ask the logic of it cos I don't get it. Shopping is everyday needs (and a form of therapy;p)!

Anyway, for those who don't know, I'm leaving the skincare and back into the plastic business. This is suppose to be a secret and I dunno how to handle it well. The staffs at the skincare hv no idea I'm resigned and they think I'm taking a leave for my wed prep. So they keep calling me everyday volunterarily giving me updates and expressing their hope of their manager coming back.

Mike is busy as always dealing with the system. He has this dream where we can computerized every single thing in the shop. Yes I'm doing retail and he's so sure he can invent a database holding the impossible;p

So tonite we're meeting lissa for dinner, and tomorrow is chuch day, and as usual we hv to continue the wed stuffs. We gonna hv the test food with my parents, and deciding my wed dress. Guess tat shuld be fun, but for now I'm very very sleepy so pardon me for the lack of enthusiasm in my writing -.-"

today.

2009-06-19T22:20:00.000+08:00

Seems like everybody's getting married or has just married. I, included on the 1st category, wondering, how time flies, how days filled with tiny steps and love grows into what we hv today.

Is getting married a necessity? God says, marriage is for those who has the grace to do so. Do I hv it..?

fact sheet: javelin 8900

2009-03-13T22:32:00.001+09:00

Facts if you using javelin 8900:
1. Nail extention is not an option, especially for your thumbs.
2. Your heartbeat race up everytime you hear a 'ding' or a heavenly hum whenever the phone vibrates.
3. Your boyfriend ask you to send unlimited pictures.
4. Periplus might lost you for a while since books and magz are second option next to a 24hrs online browser.
5. Crackberry.com suddenly becoming ur fave site.
6. You might go to church just to sit and listen online sermon.
7. Driving is not enjoyable anymore since you can't do bb messenger behind the wheels (typing requires 2 thumbs).

Well at least that's what I'm going thru for now.

Confession of a Blackberry Addict (part one)

2009-03-07T09:24:00.004+09:00

It's 8am and I'm browsing & blogging instead doing my heavenly morning ritual which include hot choco milk, morning devotion, magz, and even watching dvd (grey's anatomy it is - yes I go tat far in 15mins just to make sure my day begins 'right').

So i guess this is the early step of blackberry (or by its nickname: crackberry) addiction is on.

2009-03-05T21:20:00.000+09:00

Got my Blackberry.

what's on.

2009-03-05T12:35:00.000+09:00

My youngest brother has just passed selection test for going into medical faculty and im very happy for him (and my parents). Finally, in the family, there's someone becoming a doctor.

My fiance's dad is in the same state (of in/sanity) like yesterday.
Im becoming very tired and bored and tired and bored and i thought, why dont we just get married already and let him get over with it? *excuse moi, this is my blog, i can write anything i want and that is what i feel now, sorry mike... ill edit it later when i feel like i want to*

Im still waiting for my Blackberry.

It's March on Bali. It's like 'holiday month'. We have 8 days of holiday in a row not counting on weekends and a public holiday in the middle.

Im going holiday with my family to... i dont know where about yet, since the plan has been changing since the last week. But i definetely not going to australia (where i really wanna go).

I love driving while listening to the radio.

I have motorbikes and i think we, car driver, should make a public action to teach the motorbikers of how to behave. The simplest is we can use horn. Never doubt to use it whenever necessary or not so necessary but it's part of the lesson. Let's join me!

Because i prove it myself, i now trust my dermatologist for taking the next level of having beautiful skin. I need perfect complexion for the wedding day.

My masseurs are very good. Im not saying this as direct promotion for Madame Korner, but really, they're good. They're for woman only or couple. So Riv, you're not eligible to get our body massage service. You can go to Budi Setiawan instead and ill lend them one of my masseurs.

My lunch companion is here and ill just gonna go... and enjoy my regular lunch. Hm.. excelso or mm juice or warung warung?

Madame Korner - March Promotion

2009-03-02T16:24:00.002+09:00

So i was about to post our March promotion.
Apparently the internet is very dung-dung.
Give us a call for more information.

Note. We have body massage & reflexology starting this month.

Madame Korner
0361-767081

daily stuffs

2009-02-18T20:00:00.000+09:00

i dont hv facebook. am i lost or something..? please give me a call if any of u answering 'yes'!

i practically live in a mall where wireless inet connection is not a privileges but my oldie notebook's wireless detection is useless and since i never crave my old addiction of internet, i never make any fuss of it. so dial up is okay for me (ohmygod my fellow curtin business school must be having shock reading this) and checking gmail & writing blog is quite helpfull to reduce my stress.

so im gonna write about what i do on my free time.

my definition of 'free time' is when i dont have to:
~ meet & greet my regular customers - it is part of the job to maintain relationships (most of them go to the mall almost everyday to eat shop wash & blow, etc)
~ making calls for ordering products, making promotion, etc
~ doing administration stuffs: checking money in - out, budgeting.
~ checking products, filling inventories, renewing supplies.
~ briefing my therapists & customer services on daily meeting.
~ updating knowledge on skincares (reading newspaper & beauty magazines is a must)
~ making sure all the bills are paid.
~ making sure we anticipate any kind of future complains or unsatisfaction from customers.
~ research & innovation (sounds cool heh.. but most of the time im just busy making sure the 'competitors' dont copy us)

so on the free time i enjoy:
~ facial, madame korner it is
~ body massage, also madame korner
~ hair spa on next door salon budi setiawan
~ reading books, periplus & gramedia are regular customers
~ kwetiaw siram ayam MM juice is awesome (i live in a mall where good food are limited; junk food is on the other hand, abound)
~ watching dvds on the notebook

well i guess thats it my life at the moment.. it's not too fun hey, remembering i work more than 10 hours almost everyday & no day-off (there will be a day when i look back and screamed 'no day off?? wat was i thinking!?') and yes i dont shop much.

2009-02-12T13:18:00.003+09:00

This love season, Madame Korner celebrating the love for your skin, presenting 30%-40% discount on ALL facial treatments. For info & booking: 0361-767081.

whishes

2009-02-12T11:41:00.001+09:00

So im re-reading my first year uni book: starbucks experience. I was very impressed on the book and naive-me thought: i will grow my own company and create my own starbucks experience!

Now im sitting in my office couch, pouring rain outside, reading the same book impressed me 8 years ago and thought... this is indonesia, and the human resource is very poor and whats written in the book is just impossible --"

I really do think it is involving the way of thinking, how they treat their life, how they see themself, etc etc etc. Nowdays working is not just about getting money. I have to find people that wanna be a part of something good, with vision for the future and a spirit of excellence. Maybe i dont find them. Maybe they'll find me (turns out im still naive). Anyway, Life isnt supposed to be boring and we dont live for money. We live for the experience, what kind of community member we are, what we do for the world and society.

If you are the person, or you wanna be part of the company, please put ur comment on the blog, message me on my email: titin.sutono@gmail.com.

my regular kind of day

2009-01-29T21:25:00.000+09:00

so i got into the office today, and my customer service (my only one customer service) told me that she's resigning. In 2 days.

what do i do? nothing. i wanted to laugh, really, and i prayed, God, im waiting for the next bad-news, come on i can take it one more... or maybe two more.

finally i got more therapists, im losing my customer service. i realize that it's gonna take several years (years!) to create a solid team but it still stroke me hard. it's not about i dont hv customer service for a while, but im very sorry that day by day, i might gonna loose my trust to the ppl surround. i might loose my confidence leading this company. ppl do anything to get into the job they want, and do more things to quit. i know that now.

anyway, i hv my schedule full for the next 2 weeks or more.. so i hv to cancel my lunch date with lissa or riva or my dermatologist. gladly, at the end of the day ill always hv mike waiting for me on the phone, and my season 6 One Tree Hill is waiting to watch.

Therapy

2009-01-21T11:39:00.000+09:00

My dear dear dear dearest Michael, this song speaks for me.

Therapy by India Arie
He lays me on the couch and says
"how has your day been?
Tell me your problems;
I'll help you solve them.
Come on let's talk about it"

He sits next to me and smiles.
Listens to all of my words,
Relaxes all of my nerves.
Like breathe in, let it go
Take deeps breathes and real slow, calm down.

Close my eyes
Ease my mind
From my body please
Work your Psychology

You're taking good care of me
Always been there for me
Boy I can't bear to leave
Cause I need your therapy
You've given me everything
So much I ever could need
Without you I'm so weak in the knees
I need your therapy

He puts his hand on my lower back
His face in my neck and
Says something to make me laugh
Makes me forget I was mad
His touch feels so right
It's like he's reading my mind
I need him all the time

So normally i dont say this outloud to him (i dont know why... maybe im shy?!) usually i yelled at him for being not enough caring, always complaining.
Babe, you do know that complaining is my love language, rite? :)

By request

2009-01-17T19:15:00.000+09:00

Why i never write lately...?
Because nothing's going on with my life at the moment.

Everytime i write, i only mention Madame Korner...?
Well.. nothing's going on with my life except for work work and work.And.. i trully obsessed with skincare products now.

We've got special promotion celebrating Chinese new year, and the salon is pretty busy. 5 meters from the outlet, there's a renovation project for Ace Hardware opening soon, and they practically rip the building apart and build a new one. The noise is beyond your imagination. Guess how many of our costumers complaining. It is very very bad for the business. huh.

So this morning i was very pissed off bout the noise and angry-hormonal-me went to the security guard, yelled at him, then yelled at the project manager, the building manager and finally 15 mins later.. peace & quiet like never before. After a week of phone calls i made to have this quietness, after all yelling on the phone... finally!!!!!

Friends, we're having 40% discount for all the facial treatments, so call us now on 767-081 to make a booking =)

Madame Korner - Imlek Promotion

2009-01-16T12:39:00.002+09:00

2008-12-17T15:10:00.001+09:00

Indecisive.

2008-12-03T16:14:00.000+09:00

Overtime payment= Rp Rp Rp Rp
Couch+dvd+cake+coffee = Pricelesssss

Just for your information, I havent got a day off since 3 months ago, since i started in this so called could be one of the best choices job i could have. Yes, the job is a dream to get, but doing it is so far from it, im very-wildly-awake (and sometimes i thought this is what hell feels like. hahah. yes im exaggerating abit.. okay fine, a few..)

So, ive been asked, is this what i thought it would be? my answer is yes, and lil bit harder. am i convinient working with my uncle? yes, it is, sometimes i got privileges but since i got the blood-related, i also need to be tiarap sometimes when other ppl is only required to jongkok. You know what i mean? Im dealing with Chinese old&new style of management and trust me, half-half, whatever it is, very confusing. Do i get a good deal of money? yes and no. Am I happy with the job? yes i am, but im not happy with the situation it created.

Sometimes i just dont agree for what i've been told to be, or what to do. But being a store manager of an international brand at this age, it requires alot of skill, experience & knowledge. So im learning. About anything. About work, bout being humble, choosing what to listen and whats not... Everyday now fills with new mistakes and how to fix them. It is damn tiring, but what choice do i hv? -.-" Moreover, isnt it what life's about? isnt it? isnt it????? Im pressed (but thank God im not crushed, struck down but not destroyed).

Sooo glad that i still hv a faith for God. I mean, there's this God who controls everything, so nothing is up to my boss. it is a releaved. Gosh, i think ill take a suicide pills or something if my boss (who's an atheist) always right. Well anyway, right now, i really need some chills just to be relax at home with dvd and snacks, doing nothing just for a day. I wonder how i became this workaholic superwoman doing tasks at amazing speed. I almost dont recognized myself.

One thing I havent been able to tell my boss - or maybe i able to do that but somehow i just know they wouldnt understand, is everybody needs a break once in a while. And it cannot be replaced by money.

daily schedule

2008-11-03T23:58:00.004+09:00

Oookay... Ive been tempted to erase the 'soft opening' poster but then i thought, im recording my life, rite? and mistakes is part of it =)

So it should be: 11 November 2008.
Corrected.

Anyway, I've been busyyyy.. Vonnnn wait for me im coming for youuuu.. hold on your thoughts & do not do anything before we have our intensive chat session!!

Daily schedule:
7.20 - wake up
7.30 - get up & jalan2 around my room
7.40 - shower (always washing my morning hair)
8.25 - quick breakie & starting the car
8.45 - drive!!!
9.30 - the mall (mental note: always taking the favourite strategic spot)
9.35 - sitting at the clinic/salon couch with laptop on.
9.45 - start the day : breafing & dealing with today's appointment

Lunch time: depends on the customer's flow
Tea time: anytime when nothing urgent. breadtalk, J-Co, roti boy, excelso are reachable.
Dinner time: depends... on the traffic.

Note: im very sleepy during the day. warm lighting, full air-con, full-jazzy music... this is quite my dream job =) BUT oh the heels... are killing me -.-"

Indecisive is gud. yes? no?

2008-10-27T11:01:00.003+09:00

It was days ago when my boyfriend said he had nothing to do & really need some indulgence reading my blog. So my blabs is relaxing huh? very weird boyfriend i hv. I hope this 'indulgence' of his isnt changing once we're married because babe, ill indulge you everyday with my chitchat...hows that sounds?:)

Dear friends (especially for those who arent in my contact list lately), so my latest news is, i got promoted!! hahah.. it's quite funny im saying that because: before i was a shop owner ie.the boss, and now im not the boss anymore (but i still got to be the person ngoceh2 di kantor everyday - perhaps that is just my natural-given). BUT now i got to work in a nice proper office with staffs wearing nice outfit, & im actually using computers to do my work & get free internet! So based on those facts im saying im reaching higher.

My shop is closed for infinite time.
.......

Well. sit back and walking down the memory line, i was amazed that i managed to survive in the shop for more than a year! but couple times im sitting in a very comfy couch with my afternoon tea i thought.. there's no way im going back!! gosh i never know that i could be this 'shallow'. nice outfit (eventhough im still lancai style sometimes with my yellow sandal jepit) & driving to the office (with my private parking spot just in front of the main door) does make difference! Im still dealing with *cough* stupidity but i think i can control my emotion better somehow...

Yesterday i was having a lunch date with a boy-besfriend in a cafe. This is absolutely an increase in quality of life since i can actually having proper lunch: salmon avocado salad, ham sandwich... For a year i used to eat nasi bungkus & i get 5 minutes to finish. Now i got my own lunch time, and i can read magazine while eating. So yesterday was a fun catch-up and we're talking and gossiping bout the night we had before, whereas it was one of the wedding parties & of course we see friends, long-time-no-see friends.. Somehow i feel like im 'back in the game' after being tossed into nowhere land (aka.in the middle of pasar sayur, ikan, baju, well i think pasar describe enough).

Silly me, always worrying bout penting & gak penting stuffs, well if somehow, someday i hv to 'go back' to 'keadaan gak enak' (but i hv to do it for the sake of making money - or it related to someone's happiness - or it related to life & death situation) then i hv to be always always prepared. i think the way preparing it is: gak sombong & always to be grateful for what i hv now, but i hv to be aware that everything i hv now, i owned now, i achieved now, is not even mine. there's a higher power up above, his eyes on me (very sure of that). A week ago, in one of my session of 'self-awereness' which i always do in the morning while having breakie or driving, well i decided that 'today' is the time i hv to quit worrying. Yep true. Me. Not worrying. Sounds impossible but i recall the saying 'anything is possible'. So here i am.. trying to not thinking too much.

My achievement so far: i still indecisive about whether im gonna continue the shop or not (note: no i cannot do both) & im not too worry what's gonna happen next (oh please i dont wanna let go my office couch...)

Amazing-skin maker

2008-10-25T13:23:00.002+08:00

Madame Korner Skin Care Soft Opening
1 November 2008,
Mal Bali Galeria.

We have lotsss of goodie bags for pers & free product gifts with Madame Korner product purchase & also 40% discount on treatments. That is, including the famous Royal Jelly Nourishment.

Sweet almond oil, mints, avocado, cucumber, parsley leaf...
In Madame Korner, we dont eat them. We stick them on face.

As a skin troubled myself, I realize that nature is the best source for my great skins. I used to stick my face with cucumber, aloe vera, tomatos.. They are doing great for my skin, except i dont have time to do that everyday. Then i imagine more... macadamia oil, honey, almond oil... with their rich of natural goodness, they can do amazing things to my skin!

Early this year, i went to jakarta, half in the mission of finding new products for my skin, especially for my face because it was in its worst condition after 2 years. i found this nature ingredients product from Australia called Madame Korner.

It was started on 1904 in Australia and been growing since, and proven doing 'magic' on skin! I was having one of the treatments and i was amazed on the result. The product doesnt do instant result like botox or chemical treatment but goes with time, it smoothen my skin & making it better from day to day.

Lucky for me, my uncle & wife & his in-laws were intested too and willing to invest their money on opening the skincare centre in Bali. So here i am, surrounded by these products everyday, and be happy to get paid while following my curiousity of what the products really made of. Is it really natural? no preservatives at all? no side effects on skin (except making skin looks amazing)?

Been 'working' for 5 weeks, I go to the every training session, learning the massage & try it myself, use the products (i even ate one of them, guess which one is the most im obsessed with) i read all the textbook (the one that suppose to be read by the consultant/doctor) and gosh i wish i found the product years ago before im 25 and in the middle of having frown lines!

2008-10-23T15:47:00.004+08:00

It's nothing personal, it's just business

2008-07-19T15:33:00.000+08:00

Says Trump in the Apprentice Show.

Im watching Selebrity Apprentice now, and really engaged with the game. I think it is a gud show, it explores all of the player's aspects and it makes you wonder, what if i was in her / his position? would i stabbed her back like she did? hmm. never knew unless i was put in her shoes. and i doubt if i even wanna take the chance if i got one.

Well, that's because im a business player now. It's not even as half as big as Trump's but it is still a business (and Trump mention it is a fight!). Since Im in the field for almost a year now, the more I know what he meant by nothing personal, it's just business. But honestly, it affects your personal life very much indeed. There's a mistique sense that makes you believe that you're a better person as you got more experiences, how you connect with the customers and creates new relationships (especially when the money's growing). But I realize now, I might not a better
friend as i got in, deeper & deeper... And omeday it might eat you alive. Ive read, seen and know some ppl had lost their dignity because of business. But i really doubt if it is really the matter of business principal...

So Im saying,
Nothing personal, it's just money, beibeh!

Friends, i know by reading this, you might disagree with me, and some of u might think.. 'oh.. she's talking money now..' (and no 'friend' in money=p) But im sure as the more aging and wiser you are, you'd understand my word of wisdom!

So, bottom line is, I really advice we would treasure our friendship and let's put the money as the catalists to our friendship...(not the base, just to sweeten the friendship). Im saying this with the reference by the Book (Luke 16).

May the wisdom using money be always be with us!! Amen.

Dear Valuable Customers,

2008-07-15T16:35:00.003+08:00

oI really am in the mood of swearing.

So im blogging. Helps me release the pressure.
I think.

If any of you is a customer in my shop, please take notes, take mental notes, or whatever u do so you just be clear that i dont do basa basi or do those boring polite gesture in business hours, with customers.

When u come to my shop, we'd asked, 'how we can help u with?'
Please answer, pleaseeeee because we're not being polite.
We dont appreciate you mumbling and take stuffs from the display and put it back harshly because it is not the stuff u're looking for.
U're coming to the shop to buy something, and it is necessary that provide us any information related or better be, bring samples!!
And we dont think u're cute when u make that stupid drawing in the air explaining the product that u should bring so we can help you finding the right size for more 20 minutes or so...

Hv u ever heard the term 'queuing?' well it's not only a polite gesture, but also there's a purpose behind. When we say 'please wait' means u hv to wait patiently, calmly, because we're serving customers based on the queue. Even for asking prices or colors available, u hv to queue too.

And we might asked you to sit down. Again, not being polite.
Please notice that we put the chair in strategic spots so we can keep watching you from where we're standing serving customers. We're not paranoid, just being precatious. So please, when we ask you to sit, please do so, dont wander around the shop because, really, we dont like when u do that.

When we buy things we tend to check on the seal, for security purpose and to see if the product is in intact condition. So, pleaseeee.. do not open our seal if you are not sure whether u are sure u gonna buy it because there's other ppl besides you, coming to our shop. You can come to me or one of the staffs to ask for samples.

The non-smoking sign is not an accessories. We really do mean it: NO SMOKING inside the shop. Smoking is not just unhealty, it is actively killing you and ppl breathing the smoke. So good luck on that.

Last but not least, customers, you and I are not friends.
We're attached because you need goods, and I need money.

That's all for now, thank you.

Narsis

2008-06-17T14:02:00.001+08:00

Buku Mira W. yang 'obsesi seorang narsis' bener2 buat merinding deh. Bisa2nya ada orang yg punya penyakit akut begitu.. Penyakit narsis, terlalu cinta sama diri sendiri sampe2 ngerasa dia yg paling bener, ngerasa dia paling didenger orang, dan ga peduli pendapat orang laen. Sejak baca buku ini, pengamatan lingkungan jadi berasa tajam.. hmm... sepertinya papa agak narsis.. kayaknya si mama juga punya bibit2 narsis.. kayaknya mungkin aja karena saya yang ngerasa diri sendiri ga narsis inilah justru malah sebenernya yg paling narsis! =p

Nah seperti misalnya sekarang, lagi jaga toko & mengamati pembeli. Ihhh kok baru sadar ya kalo sebenernya pembeli itu kebanyakan pada narsis. Udah tau ini toko plastik, pas ditanya, 'mau beli apa bu?' jawabnya, 'plastik.' Ya jelaslahhh plastik, kalo dia mo beli makanan sih aneh. Lah ya maksudnya itu nanya plastik jenis apa, ukuran brapa, kegunaanya buat apa... Trus jawabannya kira2 gini, 'ituuhh.. plastik yg biasa saya beli.'

Emangnya kita yang jualan ini punya kemampuan baca pikiran ato memori sekuat apa, gituh.. boro-boro inget plastik yang dia beli, kayaknya liat mukanya ini orang aja samar2 inget kok! Asal tau aja, di toko ini tersedia lebih dari 100 macam & 800 ukuran plastik. Cape dehhhh -.-"

Ada juga pembeli yang masuk toko dengan pede, senyum lebar dan tanya.. 'mbak, mau beli plastik yagn biasa saya beli, itu ukurannya berapa ya?' Nah loh.. mana kita tau dia pake ukuran brapa.. yang pake plastiknya kan dia. 'Ibu bawa contoh plastiknya?' Yah seperti sudah diduga, of courseeee dia ga bawa contoh. Trus kedengeran samar-samar dia bisikin suaminya 'kan kita biasa beli, pasti deh nih mbaknya catet ukuran plastik kita.' Ohmaigod who does she think she is?!

Belakangan ini harga plastik gila-gilaan naeknya. Kita yang jual bingung ngitung harga ampir tiap hari, yang beli juga bingung karena beda 2 hari aja harga plastiknya bisa beda. Ada satu langganan, yang gak sering2 banget dateng, tp ngerasa dia datengnya tuh uda sering banget. Dia ga tau aja ada pembeli yang dateng sehari 2 kali, uda kayak minum obat. Kalo bukan kakek2, kali2 aja karena dia naksir gw.. mwohoho..

Nah yah, nih pembeli yang ada bibit narsis ini, pernah bilang gini, 'saya ini gak keberatan harga plastik semahal apapun. pasti tetep saya beli. soalnya dupa saya laris kayak kacang goreng' Jadi ceritanya nih orang beli plastik, buat bungkus dupa yang dia jual. Kemaren nih bapak dateng deh buat beli plastik setelah beberapa lama ga pernah muncul. Bisa diduga pasti kaget denger harga plastik sekarang. Karena gw inget banget sesumbarnya dulu, jadi pas kasi tau harga ke dia juga santai2 aja.. ga ada precaution apa2. Dan ternyata.. dia langsung lemes denger harganya.. heheh.. kasian juga sih, tapi makanya, jangan suka ngomong asal gitu dong akh.. narsis mah dirumah sendiri aja;p

Trus ada lagi pembeli yang model suka ngancem. Dateng2 langsung nanya 'mana plastik minyak paling kecil?' Diliatin deh plastik paling kecil ke dia... 'bener ini paling kecil?' Yah kita si ga tau kalo di toko laen ada plastik yang ukurannnya lebih kecil lagi.. tapi yg jelas ini yang paling kecil
yang kita jual. 'ya udah, saya beli satu. awas ya kalo ternyata ada yang lebih kecil lagi..'
Duh.. sakit kepala...

Barusan bgt, ada pembeli mau beli plastik yg lebarnya 28cm. Trus barangnya ini lg ga ada stok. Dia ngotot mau beli ukuran 27cm (yg pretty much aku yakin biarpun beda satu senti, ngefek bgt karena dia toh bilangnya 28cm itu pas bgt buat barangnya. nah yah dia ngotot beli walaupun uda kita bilaingin (yah dasar narsis and dungdung, dia ga bawa barangnya.. menurut dia, dia lebih tau kali ye) dia tetep beli 7 kilo. Nah nah.. dia balik lg mo balikin barangnya. Ugh.. too bad.. ga bisa kembali uang.. bisanya tukar barang.. and we dont hv size 28. muahahahahahha. Im pretty much happy... apa kata gw tadiiii kaga cukup kann?!?!? uhuuuuu...

simplifying my mind

2008-05-16T18:49:00.003+08:00

on the break between the live report from Istora Senayan on Uber-Thomas Cup. I actually happy we're having more games tonite since i need to concentrate on something... geez told ya i'd be more selfish for my own sake *sigh*

speaking of games, i really need to quit the games in my brain. hv to keep in mind that i should be thankful for whatever it is im having now. even all the problems. by the way, my sick leave is over today, and im working tomorrow.. and im looking forward to it, didnt see that coming.

as i analyzed before, my biggest problem is, i hear ppl too much whereas i should be filtering what's going into my ear, brain & eventually my heart. So im practicing now.. well i've been practicing eversince, but doesnt work. let's say im now.. experimenting other ways. you know, as i watch sinetron nowadays, life's actually pretty simple for them. Maybe, maybeee... we can make our wide wide world be more simple ala sinetron!

Please pay attention on the leading actress. her problem is only: she's falling in love with a guy, the only guy, as if there's no other more guys in the world. Yes, as the leading role in our own scenario, and the producer too (God is the director), we need to limit the casts. See, it would be much more simpler once we can get rid of the exes (especially the one that's getting married) and tats it. He's not getting any role. Our aim now is just to chase the leading actor.

So, simplying my case, im trying to be more rational. u know what i mean..? since one of my exes is getting married, i try to put my mind in a objective position. everyone, generally is getting married eventually, rite? so does he. and definetely, i dont wanna marry him.. so if there's another gal wanna marry him, then it;s gud, rite? problem solved. Hmm.. i actually heard something screaming on my brain.. YEAH BUT NOT BEFORE MEEEE???!?!?!

life matters

2008-05-16T13:03:00.002+08:00

I remember when i was a kid, i had a false conception that being an adult (ie.after college) is actually living a wonderful life. You can drive anywhere you want, can date anyone u want, and can work anything u choose. But no, my life now is not that simple. I can drive but i feel lazy most of the time especially because i dont know where to go. No, i cannot date anyone i want because it's way more complicated than life itself -.-" And dont say anything about work.

Anyway, im blabbering. So yesterday, finally i got out of the house and it was actually great except the meeting with the client went really weird. The client is actually is a snobby, even my staff said he's 'jaka sembung bawa golok, ga nyambung bokkk'. He's actually asking for a website prototype design and ask me to present it in Jakarta whereas he also said, 'the main company is in Jakarta so why we make the website in Bali?' Owh.. he ever heard bout online outsourcing? But then he seemed to change his mind when we explained that the website is the courtesy of Bali branch so it's basically kinda free... He sorta thought I was gonna sell him the website.

Speaking about outsourcing, I sadly admit that it doesnt work for a long distance relationship. I feel like we're no longer can do this, so one of us has to pack our bag and MOVE!!! We're very looking forward to live in the same city and maybe we can work in the same office too:D Everynite before sleeping, when we hv our pacaran tyme, we still doing the odds: menghayal this and that, having our regular fight about who's moving and where to move...

So. I also had cleared my messy mind about the work. Whether I wanna quit the shop, or I wanna join my uncle's company, or move my butt for real and go living with my future hubby... Okay.. so the conclusion is, I just hv to change the way i see.. things. Ehrm.

I sorta promise Mike that I wont complain - correction: i will less complaining about what life's giving me especially in this sensitive intense life condition. So ill continue with my life while doing the planning and see what's God prepare for me in front. I will live by faith and not by sight. If i dont see anything up front it doesnt mean it's not there, but it's just too good to be true so God hides it first thus it doesnt shock me!

Another thing is, I also realize that I think too much bout what other ppl say about me or the society thinks bout this and that... and thus i neglect my own happiness (yes, literally). So, i will try to think positive and be more selfish for myself so i only hv to care bout my own happiness and screw what ppl think and say. Yeah, so please wish me luck on this because this is gonna really hard!!! I will keep posting on this and please please please prepare your praying equipment because you gonna keep praying for me!

Thank you. thats all for now. And let's get the UBER & THOMAS CUP!!!!

hmphhhh

2008-05-14T11:40:00.004+08:00

so back here again, at the same spot yesterday. nearby the bed, in front of the window. ohmygosh everything is boringgggg life's very very boringgg im 100% bored! I actually waiting someone will call me and ask me to go for lunch or anything so i can do something, get out of the house!

i wanna go dress up, put some make up on.. but hewl yeah.. where to go yah??? ugh i hate life's at this moment. the moment after ill, before very very well, and doing anything in between is just wrong because im supposed to be in bed. but im not that sick for laying on bed.

I think im just really in the mood for complaining. maybe im still sick and not well at all!! to add things up, i just heard that one of my exes, is getting married soon. oh God, are you really up there? please please please hear me begging for more exciting life!!!

brainy me

2008-05-13T22:27:00.004+08:00

being sick, definetely makes me think. harder, deeper, longer....
wondering where life's going to take me.

a friend of mine just got married.
another one just opened a boutique.
im doing nothing. just got released from the hospital...

On the quiet sessions...

2008-05-13T22:11:00.002+08:00

I suddenly hv this overwhelming feeling that I really really miss my old friends back in Uni. Oh what a sweet memories! I envy of those who still with their friends, whether they graduated or not. It's the unity and the friendship that I miss very much. I just miss the feeling of independent, living far away from family & no one but myself told me what to do. It's the freedom, beibeh!

I also admire those who lives & work happily everyday, enjoying what they're doing & dont feel the pressure to do what they do. Okay, perhaps the serials im watching now: Lipstick Jungle has something to do with my brain now. I envy them who can manage to be on the top of the work arena and being a mum for the family too. And they hv a great sex life! *giggles*

The first one, that I cannot do anything to bring back the memory. But Im happy to realize that I can create my better memories for later. But the thing is, as far as I know that Im living for today and creating part of the future, still i dont know what im doing. Whether it is gonna be benefecial for my future, whether im creating a good memory, or if I know what Im doing and why im doing it. Life's confusing. But more i think about it, the more im wasting my time to create a confusing memory. hahah.

Desperately need the pdc session

2008-05-13T14:09:00.002+08:00

Where are you guysssss??????????????

It's time for a girltalk session.. One longgggg full of tears of happiness & joy & pray & hope!!!
It's 2008 already, and are we up to our 2010 New York in front of Bloomingdale's picture taken?? hehehehhe...

I miss you guys more than words! I miss our gila2an, our fight, our kfc dinner, our shopping session, I misssss everything! I even miss our city of Perth! hohoh...

Cik, if u read this, please call me. San, see u on 1st of June, we'll catch up and share the stories. Ta, pleaseeeeee.. check your e-mail! Cant wait to see you guys!!

Rumour has it...

2008-05-13T13:31:00.002+08:00

I've been drinking Pocari Sweat, bottles and bottles of them, more than i know i could! Thanks to the dengue fever that stretch my immune system to the max. But since only the rumour has it, i guess we'd never know if it really is the brand helping me to get out from the hospital less than (only) 6 days.

Beside the go ion campaign I also drank: Buavita jambu, chinese medicine called ba bao dan, angchou (mengkudu buah merah) and lots lots of kuah beras merah. So... guess we'd never know which one is the magic wizard huh?

strike's over!! wooohooo

2008-02-08T20:12:00.001+09:00

If you're a big fan of hollywood tv series (like me), you must hv mourned for several months because of the writer's strike. But now it's OVER!!!

As written by hollyscoop.com, the terms of the agreement weren't released, but who cares, as long as it's over! No more damn reruns and the Oscar's can go on as scheduled, instead of having stupid press conferences that no one watches anyway. Woohoo!

So just relax now, and wait nicely for the complete version of House, Lost, Desperate Housewives, Gossip Girls.... too many to mention, ill hv to look at my dvd list first =p

akh, can wait!

the pain.

2008-02-06T18:27:00.000+09:00

One of the surprises as we get older, however, is that we came to see that there
is no real correlation between the amount of wrong we commit and the amount of
pain we experience.

- the Message, on the introduction of the book of Job.

As we grow older, we also cannot help but looking back and sometimes regret the past. For me, in my path of life, one of the obvious is what so called 'carreer'. But now, ill just see it as 'what i do for living'. Because i want it to be not just about money, but how i can serve God while im making money for living.

In high school, i was told that: we hv to hv skill (true), theory is not helping (not exactly true, because i got my bachelor via written exam), and dont take boring major such as economics, accounting, etc. The main reason is because: they're full of (crap) theory & what the heck r u doing counting people's money everyday??? Those are the elder saying.

I took a bachelor degree in Information Technology/E-Commerce because back then, it was predicted that the future needs a lot of IT person, and internet company would be a boomer. It is happening now, but after i got the degree, I found that the IT future dont need me =) Im an enterpreneur now, and i run it with no computer at all, except my mobile phone for sending sms.

Now. The obvious is, we cannot predict our future simply by the school we enter, major we take, connection we have. My brother is taking accounting major, and again, all of the uncles are saying: why are you going to school just to count money that's not even yours??? Well im saying, that's a terrible way to look at life!

In my pursuit of hapiness, I happen to be wondering many times about 'pain' we suffer inside. What I did wrong, why God allowed it to happen, why do i hv to experience it over and over again, and the most important issue: how to end it.

Yet when i look at my life today, Im seeing the work of God scattered all over the path. Thus, I believe that no matter what I took in Uni back then, my choice of work, my choice of workplace, what i do for living, doesnt necessarily related with my 'pain'. In other words, if I chose my life differently, I'd end up in the same 'state of heart' as today. The amount of money, might could change my quality of life, but the quality of my heart? Somehow I doubt it.

Because suffering is a mystery.
The message says: suffering does not inevitable making us closer to God, but it does it far more often than we would expect. It makes us 'go higher', or 'run faster' and strecthing out our limit. It is obvious that 'the pain' is a part of our life, and a 'tool' in pursuit of our happiness.

my bad

2008-02-05T22:48:00.000+09:00

Pain makes us make bad decision.
Fear of pain is almost as big motivator.
- dr. House, on 'Euphoria'.

I learnt that when we're sad, low, in pain, it is best that we dont make any decision. Sometimes the condition drive us to take the decision.

But hold it just for a second.
Another second, another one....
Take a breath, calm urself, think about something good, something beautiful,
Something... making you thankful because at least, you're alive.

I learnt that what or whom makes we sad the most are those we love the most.
Yes, the risk for loving someone. But i also learnt that the love is growing thru pain.
The more you love, the more you fear of losing it, the bigger the pain.

Hmm.. the more i think, im deciding to love the person i dont fear of losing.
Confusing, i know.

What i mean is, i love mike because i know he wont let me go, unless God says so =)

dream, hope, and dream.

2008-01-29T20:30:00.000+09:00

In the midst of trial & error, we'd found that we're tougher than we'd ever knew.
Yet, we'd also found that one thing never fails: love.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

I think I've found our wedding phrases. hahah.
Anyway there's a story behind it, and for our convinient, ill make it short =)

Until this moment, we're still hoping & praying for our happy ending. which is, our short term goal: marriage. we call it short term goal because we havent exactly prepared what we gonna do after the goal achieved. I know this is abit weird, but looking at our life, we're like.. screwed. We hv nothing to hold on (except God, and sometimes we feel like he's totally far far away out there) yet we hv so much to loose.

In our relationship, there's hundred of times im asking myself, asking mike, asking God, if this is the way it is. I had many breakdowns, countless fears, litres of tears (perhaps =p). And so had mike. In the last year, we've been involving our family in the relationship, and everything not going how it is supposed to be (according to my brain).

But however, we're survived. And we're proud of it. We're pround of our amazing God. Now I realized that without what we've been thrugh, I wouldnt be so sure to marry him (because hey, he needs to prove himself, rite? but without the trials, how could he do that?). I'd also never knew that I could be this strong woman who decided to take the hard battle and go to the war (yeahhh!)

Long long time ago, I thought that if i'd been in life-troubled situation (like many adults do), I'd hate God. How come God is gud when we're suffered (ie. no money, no carreer, etc). But for you who havent been in the situation yet, this is me witnessing: God is good all the time.

So at the moment, we still hv no money for starting a new life together. We're still living in 2 different cities. We're still having trouble to conclude our families. The last but not least: i dont even know when i can see mike again. Ha!

Here's our solution: pacaran every nite. we talk on the phone almost every nite, and most of the time we're stressed & fight over things. anything, silly one to most important one because we do need to discuss about everything. that keep us sane & aware of the 'battle situation'. And for balancing, we talk about the future. 'how it's gonna be when we're married.' that is my favourite part of course. And those sleepless nites make us understand that our part in the relationship is not only to (feel) love, but mainly helping each other to bear our burdens. Tears are not signs to give up; it's not a sign of what's meant to be or not meant to be.

Im saying God is good, because whatever the reality is, we can still dreaming & hoping. And hope to God is never dissapointing.

Iklan =p

2007-11-17T22:54:00.000+09:00

Belakangan, aku jd sering nonton tv. Sitkom OB, acara gosip seleb dan pastinya.. sinetron =p Karena sering depan tv, otomatis sering nonton iklan dong, dan aku impressed bgt karena iklan2 skarang tuh kreatif & catchy bgt =) Tp emang ada juga yg jayus & gak nyambung bgt sih.

RCTI tuh sering bgt ngisi iklan2 sinetron unggulannya & bagus bgt traillernya tuh menarik gituh, jd pengen nonton sinetronnya kayak apa, jd penasaran gituh.. Tp eh sering bgt juga kecewa soalnya sinetronnya gak sebagus traillernya. Ada yg ceritanya basi bgt, trus jalan ceritanya lambat, atau akting aktornya kayak terlalu dibuat-buat.

Tp anyway, yang mau gw tulis skarang, soal iklan yg catchy. Iklan parfum sixsense (bener ga si tulisan mereknya) itu tuh lucu bgt hihi.. uda pake lagu yg lagi ngetop, trus pake film yg ngetop pula. Pokoknya lucu deh walaupun pertamanya jengkel soalnya lagunya jadi stuck in my head ohmigoshhh.. tp lama2 jd lucu ajahhh..

Trus barusan nonton iklan lg, lucu. Pertamanya ga ngerti tp pas iklannya uda abis br 'ngeh deh, oh gituuuu maksudnya=p Itu tuh, dulu kan ada iklan yg slogannya 'orang pintar minumnya Tolak Angin' gitu deh kira2... Eh nih ada iklan baru, obat masuk angin juga, slogannya 'semua orang bole minum' (jadi gak cuma orang pinter doang..) Yg lucu, iklannya tuh ceritanya nih orang yg lagi masuk angin tuh 'gak pinter'. Jadi dapetnya bukan Tolak Angin deh.. tp Bintangin (obat buat semua orang) huaahuahauahau..

Salut ama kreatifitas yang buat iklan! =D

blahhh

2007-11-04T10:27:00.000+09:00

I never thought i could be free from internet addiction. heheh..it's been 2 months since i poured my thougths into writings and i think it is a very very long time... i even dont realize that i miss writing this much.

im in my shop, i brought the laptop because i was supposed to email a potential client, do product listing, and making price list. but. im lazyyy.. heheh.. besides it's raining outside and ppl seem to be in rush to go home. plastic needs can wait... (maybe that's what they think).

anyway, working with laptop anywhere beside my room feel strange to me now.. it kinda reminds me, brings me memories of how i used to work. laptop & internet was necessity. and strangely, i dont like the flash back. Even last sunday i went to Gloria Jeans to find internet connection (because dial up @ my home sucks) i was surprised realizing that 'i dont like the mood it brings'. jeez.. i still wonder why. Am i still in trauma?=p

what i realize today.

2007-09-17T21:23:00.000+08:00

This morning i was upset because it was only 10am, but i made a mistake, a big mistake according to my brain. I miscounted one of the pricings, thus i lose some money. the shop lost some money. It's not because of the amount (gosh, it's only Rp.6500) but somehow i just couldnt let it go! i really was in a bad mood and couldnt make my peace with myself.

I sat for a while, trying to calm my mind. I was also angry and confused of myself, because i knew i should be able to let go, because obviously, it's not that big deal. I knew that the only thing i should do was, let it go, and just dont do the same mistake again. My brain knows that. But somehow, i just couldnt let it go.

A while later, i was tired thinking. So i gave up and asked God, what lesson He wanted me to learn. And i realized something. I almost never remember to count my blessings, but I always remember my loss. It's very sad.

With that thought, i let it go. I think Rp.6500 worth the lesson =)

2007-09-16T20:10:00.000+08:00

To all my friends and my blog readers:
I am soooo sorry that i've been awol (again).

Yes yes im good, im just busy with the shop, and in the process of adapting this 'new life'. Im now sleeping at 10pm, woke up at 6am. The shop opens at 8.15am - 3.30pm. I then enjoy my dvd + ngemil time. Swimming. Showering. Dinner. Talk on the phone with Mike, and sleep. And the day starts all over again with slight of variation sometimes.

Okay, love life.
We're catching up on new things. New jobs. New habits. New living pattern. And those are not easy. Very very far from i could ever imagine. Never thought that relationship could be so hard but easy at the same time. Exciting, challenging, frustating, but yet very very touching. Love is a wonderful thing!

Im amazed with our passion to make things work. I also dont know where i got the strength to survive on the relationship, or what motivate us to keep encouraging each other even in the ugliest situation. But we do.

Many times i said to myself (and sometimes to mike), 'okay this is it! i cannot do this anymore.' After more than a year, we lost track of how many times i said those words (it always been me. he never said that, not even once!). But then, we're still here. Stronger than ever. It's definetely God. We're not that strong, we know it for sure.

On one of those moments, when im down, im looking back & seeing our life in the past years like a movie trailler. And i thought, hey, so many times i passed the 'this is it', the lowest point, but we survived. And this time we will survived too =)

I love you, Mike.
Im such a lucky woman =p

The Time Traveler's Wife

2007-08-14T22:33:00.000+08:00

So here's my latest indulgence: a novel by Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife.

I personally think this book is absolutely fantastic, one of the best book i've ever read. Below, you can read the synopsys that i copy paste from one of reading guide sites. I actually wanna write the synopsys myself but im afraid that i might write more than i should and spoiled the joy reading the book (or watching the movie in production with the same title). But ill tell you my feeling about the story.

Audrey Niffenegger's innovative debut, The Time Traveler's Wife, is the story of Clare, a beautiful art student, and Henry, an adventuresome librarian, who have known each other since Clare was six and Henry was thirty-six, and were married when Clare was twenty-three and Henry thirty-one.

Impossible but true, because Henry is one of the first people diagnosed with Chrono-Displacement Disorder: periodically his genetic clock resets and he finds himself misplaced in time, pulled to moments of emotional gravity in his life, past and future. His disappearances are spontaneous, his experiences unpredictable, alternately harrowing and amusing.

The Time Traveler's Wife depicts the effects of time travel on Henry and Clare's marriage and their passionate love for each other as the story unfolds from both points of view. Clare and Henry attempt to live normal lives, pursuing familiar goals—steady jobs, good friends, children of their own. All of this is threatened by something they can neither prevent nor control, making their story intensely moving and entirely unforgettable.

Reading the book makes me: missing mike. badlyyyyyy... i wish he was with me when i read the book then i can share the passion, the happyness, the thrill... Yes, the book makes me feel those.

Feels like i truly understand Clare's horror when from time to time she's watching her husband

dissapearing without any clue when he's gonna come back. When he dissapears he'd go back to the past, or go to the future, but mostly to the past, to meet young Clare. Henry was 36 when he visited 6 yrs Clare for the first time. It was a tremendous moment for them, and the writing is superb (eventhough im reading the translation) because i know that they gonna end up together and it's just funny seeing them having conversation for the first time.

It's so moving on the part when Clare or Henry expressing their feeling about each other. About their love, lost, happiness being together, sadness on unpreventable tragedies. It is just so natural & emotional because they're trying hard leading a normal life, whereas Henry is a far from normal. It really is a problem when he's moving back & forward in time tunnels whilst Claire's aging normally.

Sometimes, in the relationship with mike, I share some of Clare's feeling. We know the future is there and it's happening, but there are times we just afraid if there's something changing them, turning them upside down. There are times we hope to stop time (or to fast forward it) because we just dont know when we next gonna see our lover gone & back again. I share the awfulness, the pleasure, the butterfly in the stomach feeling. But then, everything is just gonna be like God's intended to =)

Anyway, just read the book! =D

intimidated

2007-08-12T22:23:00.000+08:00

hiii!

im finally back again =)
i always try to write consistantly but look how it comes, i've been awol for 2 weeks! if you're curious about the reasons and what i've been doing these last weeks, here they are:

we're having a very bad internet connection. i barely can check my emails yet opening the blogger to write. i actually have been writing some posts but then when just now im re-read them, i decided im not gonna upload them because i feel they're old topics =p also, i've been jeopardize by a virus called varicella. yes, pretty name, but deadly & dangerous.

August 6.
I, Lissa & Riva went to the mall to hang out & grab some food. Riva was fiverish, but he said it's only because he's been tired. So it's just a normal side effect. His driving was fine too.

August 8, 11pm.
Riva went to the doctor because he's been having fever & on the surface of his skin has been showing red, itchy bumps (like pimples but smaller), and it breaks water. The doctor then, concluded he's having chicken pox caused by vacirella virus. Chicken pox is a highly infections disease.

August 9
I, freaking out, gathered information about the disease, and calling various doctors to get the vaccination for prevention.

August 11, 11am.
I, Lissa & my brother finally got the appointment & went to the doctor to get vaccine injection. The drug was vacrilix. It was aimed to develop the antibody to reject the vacirella virus for those who has never been affected by the virus.

But. until this moment, i & lissa are still standing on the chance to get the disease because the virus' incubation time in the body is 2 weeks. So we hv to wait till next week to make sure we are not affected. *please please please pray for us =D

So if you havent been vaccinated to prevent chicken pox or havent got chicken pox yet, i suggest you to hv the vaccination because the doctor said it is causing death on adult & increasing a possibility getting herpes.

One way.

2007-07-29T22:46:00.000+08:00

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other."

Matius 6:24a

One way: Jesus.
You're the only one that i could live for.

One Way, Hilsong United.

In life, we're having two choices. God, or evil. Abstain is not a choice, it is a form of surrender, to the unknown (and we're not that stupid to serve something we dont know). So as we know that a man cannot serve two masters, then we're under one of the choices.

If you know for sure that your choice is God, then you dont hv to be worry bout anything. If you choose evil, then you dont hv to worry too. If you're confuse and dont know what to choose, then you have to be worried.

But today, im testifying, between the choices, God is the right choice. I was a slave of the evil once, and it was.. okay, it was good, in fact. But when i heard God called upon my name, i heartedly knew that I was belong to God. And it's never too late to choose Him. In fact, if you're afraid to be sorry and if you want to, you can swap between the choices as many time as you'd like. But wait until you taste the freedom in God. It's way beyond what you ever thought.

I was just telling you the reason beyond my choice, im not persuading or helping you choosing (but it's gud if it's been a help). So, choose now. If you hv any questions regarding this matter, any opinion, any comments, anything.. please contact me via email: titin.sutono@gmail.com. or please leave your thoughts here on the blog (click: on 'comments' below).

Horrors for fun (pfffttt... what was i thinking)

2007-07-27T20:26:00.000+08:00

At this very moment, Mike's in the plane, and is arriving in Jakarta around midnight. He's supposed to stay in jkt for good, but his job requires him to move around, back and forward Jakarta - Beijing, and maybe Sumatera somewhere near the future. Im actually really excited with his going home eventhough still, i dont know when ill be seing him again. Sounds weird, but it is really happening in this era, where flying by airasia is just cost less than rp.200.000 from jakarta to bali, where they invent what so called teleconference so you actually can 'attend' the important meeting with someone in USA from your home. Well I dont have anything more to say about this really, or maybe some other time ill write the complete drama and sequel. mwahahh.

Anyway, something happened with my shop project, and apparently, i have to postpone the opening. So, here i am, at home again with a long list of 'things to do' but none of them are life and death matters (nor directly money matters) so i declare that im 'bored' and 'have nothing to do'. So i came up with another list to do things that i've never done before. But It's not necessary doing something extraordiary. So yesterday i sat quietly in front of the tv with pillows around, because i was watching a Thai horror movie called The Shutter. FYI, i dont watch horror, especially i dont watch it alone doesnt matter day or night, anyway the point is i dont like being alone when the long haired asian ghost shows up (asian ghost always has long black hair and excellent painted long nails as if they had manicure before they died). So yesterday i put myself under stress, for good purpose. it was for 'a change'.

But. next time i wanna do something just for 'fun', i wouldnt put watching horrors in the list because now im quite paranoid with my tiny cute polaroid camera since i found out (yes, from The Shutter) that it able to capture spirit ie. ghost and we can see it on the photo. As a result, im putting the camera into the storage for.. err.. i dont know how long.

curhatnya "anak pembantu"

2007-07-24T22:42:00.000+08:00

Tadi sore, pas mau les renang, i saw the normal scene around the pool area. Pembantu & baby sitters ngumpul ngobrol, sambil nunggu anak2 bosnya yg pada berenang. and then i saw this little girl, around 7, lagi ngambek ditemenin pembantunya yg cuek bebek. Si guru les yg panik nih anak gak biasanya ga mau renang, keep asking, 'ada masalah apa di sekolah?' dan si pembantu cuma geleng2 kepala sambil ketawa2 clueless.

Jadi inget, pas kecil, saya juga 'anak pembantu'. dan rasanya ituh, ughhhh ga enakkk bgt. i mean, kalo ada apa2, perasaan tuh bilangnya cuma bisa ngelapor ke pembantu. ngelapor ke papa mama juga kadang gak guna, ngerasa blank ajah abis curhat juga karena kayanya mreka gak ngerti dan gak berusaha ngerti, gituh. kadang malah jawabannya, 'suru si mbak ajah bla bla bla'. jadi deh lama2 tiap curhat ke pembantu karena ngerasa, 'nih orang yg nemenin saya tiap hari'. Trus yah namanya juga gak ada hubungan whatsoever sama si pembantu, ada saat2nya sebel ajah sama tuh pembantu trus ngerasa gak yakin bisa curhat sama dia. tapi, sayangnya, yah gak ada orang laen yang bisa dicurhatin. Aduh, kalo dipikir-pikir kasian d dulu saya waktu kecil =p

Anyway, talking about parenting, sungguh membingungkan my both parents. Si papa & mama yg anehhh... i mean, they fight over silly things like everyday, and gak jarang mreka naro anak2nya di tengah2, padahal gak ada hubungannya sama sekali gitu loh. My parents, eventhough im not always agree with them, but i still think that they're the best parents in the world because i believe that being their child, is meant to be.

And then my mum, dia tuh funky bgt, she's one of those mums yg gak pernah marah kalo kita ngatain dia aneh ato jelek, or whatever, and she's over confident with her way of doing something. Trus jeleknya, dia suka ngambek. Yes, ngambek as in really really insisting her want. And my dad, he's full of crazy ideas and he brings it to work too, jd his clients suka mikir, 'funny guy' padahal kadang bisa nyebeliiin bgt karena pikirannya gak bisa diduga dan ide2nya tuh gak works in every situation but he uses it anyway.

Anyway, i promised myself i wont make my children jd 'anak pembantu' hahah.

a worry side of me

2007-07-21T23:36:00.000+08:00

I constantly regret that im a worry person. A worrier. It's a bad habbit, i think. I used to say that being a worrier is simply what I am. And now, im willing to destroy the assumption & im having a resolution to change, a brand new me. Im not saying i wanna be a slacky person that dont care about anything. But i wanna be wiser, so i can differentiate what's important & worth to think about, and what's not.

I have a cousin about same age as me, and she's been married for 6 months. She's a housewife, so the house income is from her husband only. I care about her because we're growing up together eventhough we're not really best friend, but now i think im kinda obsessed with her situation because it got me into thinking, and makes me worried. The weird thing is, she's not even complaining with her situation by being a housewife. Infact she's enjoying her role so much. She cooks, watching tv, and do boring stuffs (well i'd find it boring) and im curious over time,
whether she feels secure, with not working and depending like that on her husband? And lucky her, her simple mind doesnt kill her like my mind does if im lingering the house everyday with no tasks to be done. And now, she's 2 months pregnant. So i wonder, how'd they fulfill the needs for the future baby if the income is not fixed and only come from the husband? i know money stuff is private, but from what i've seen & heard, i know that they dont hv that kind of preparation or savings when they got married.

So yesterday, with my keponess, i went to her house & hv casual chat. From the chat, and the happy look on her face, i could tell that yes, she's fine. Nothing to worried about, really. And i keep remind myself that we all hv human instinct. We're prepared well with our self defense to prevent ourself from any damage foreseeable. And of cos, we all worried about the future, but we live in the present so just worry about what's on hand and lets pray for whats coming. Pffft.. so i was relieved.

But only for a while.
I mean, how could she just being a housewife like that?????

And a question for myself, how come Im saying that im trusting God with all my heart & my mind, but keep worrying for things that might dont exist? Im praying for wisdom, because obviously there's a huge different being worry, and being prepared.

Jealousy

2007-07-20T21:35:00.000+08:00

Okay, i know i hv this gift to be spoiled. And maybe that's why im having tendency to be jealous (or being selvish) over certain things or ppl. I used to get jealous when my best friends started going out with guys (i was the last one in the group having relationship). Everytime it happens i just became this jutek-judes-scary gal who's over protective with irrational behaviour. But at the end, i've always got tired with my own mind & attitude & the drama i caused, and apologized & tried to accept the fact that in life, i sometimes hv to share.

I thought im over it because it has never happened again for the last several years. But now, apparently, the same jealousy syndrome has been occuring again with my boyfriend. As you all know, we're having a long distance relationship & except the fact that we're in commitment to get married, we totally are having our own separate life. We hv different friends, jobs, church, and of course, problems.

So far we hv no biggie about communications or prioritizing what's important for both fo us. But, it was my jealousy that create problems. He's been telling me that im being cemburu buta. And he's absolutely right!

It's not a thing with another gals or anything serious, but lately i think he's treating me differently because he's been busy with packing (he's going home, yay!), jobs, and he hv several important things going on too. I mean, i totally get that, because i've been busy too and i know how it feels being tired & still trying to balance things up, but sometimes my mind and my heart are not agreeing each other. Deep in my heart i know he's been trying his best but when it comes to the real conversation, i somehow keep saying that he should've done better. It usually lasted about an hour and I'd spend the rest of the nite feeling sorry for what i've said (and of course, nothing's better than make up sex. ooops sorry.. conversation:p). Hmm.. maybe it's just hormones? sigh.

Money, money, money

2007-07-13T21:13:00.000+08:00

I've been busy with the job training at my mum's shop. im finally opening my own shop hopefully in 2 weeks, and im all excited, nervous, and full of hopes =)

So i've managed to convince my parents to invest to my own shop. For those who's not know, my parents are in plastics business, and it's quite big. of course, they've been having this secret hope that someday i can be in the business too. and i hv my secret hope to be a young entrepreneur. hahah.

If you've got money, of course you open whatever shop you want, maybe thats what ppl say. But if only they knew that my shop is only 500 metres away from the traditional market where you can find any kinds of ppl, and most of them are uneducated & dont hv manners. i even can hear the swearing from where i sit everyday except monday - thank god for monday, and of course the area smells funny too. But thanks to the good of technology, they invent air curtain, and im installing one at the shop. heheh. let see what the ppl gonna say about that.

I've been asking myself, where did those dreams about wearing designer brand suits, sitting in private office by the pool, enjoying my lunch at the company's unlimited allowance, and making important decisions thru internet & my high tech sleek laptop... Oh well im a realist now. The dream is not gone, but it's shaping by terms & conditions apply (this is not a sarcasm).

Would i consider myself unlucky one? i really hope not. Because after college, all we need is one thing: money. Hahah.. Yep i was going thru the experience phase, the career phase, etc. But now im settling down now, i guess.. Obviously, for me now, career is not satisfying to achieve my goals. So im cutting my way to the point of working & the basic need of life, on which, money. Hmm...

I found out that we can choose anything for life, and i believe any of them is good, just go for your dreams & make choises necessary, and dont be shock if sometimes you hv to compromise to achieve it. Whatever you need to compromise, remember not to compromise your character.

I've been getting the same advice from time to time: dont work for the money, but do whatever you enjoy while making money. Very true. Thats why eventhough i know i wont enjoy dealing with market ppl very much, i always trying to do some sort of balancing & find ways to pamper myself. besides installing the air curtain, i decorate the shop bathroom into a safe refuge. Im putting aromatherapy, magazines, a very modern toilet, and other things i cant mention here :p

Sometimes i do think that this is might be not what i really want. But hey, time will tell, rite? anyway these several months im back living at home, i've definetely seen alot of what money can do. A couple days ago, in a cranky mood after trying to open an account in the busiest bank (i think) in the country, i wrote a post about how terrible the customer service was. But yesterday I went to the bank again, this time with my dad who owns a priority card, and... ill tell you the different it makes.

A very busy morning as usual, ppl are grouped into several queues, and i honestly thought i'd be there for at least for 2 hours just to open a new account. for those furla bags sake, i was not there to ask for loan, but to invest my money!! But what actually happened was, when the usher saw my dad, she almost impusivelly greeted us, took us to a special desk where nobody's in line. My dad then left me to another floor to do his business. Because there was something i needed to discuss with him before i opened the account, I then decided to go to the priority room to meet my dad and i thought, ill queue again later. But, in the room, i was taken straightly to a desk with no queue (and i got free breakfast too for opening an account) and this time, i really amazed, the power of the priority card. the money in it!!! hohoh..

So, this time, i want moneyyyy!! hahaha.. although i know i hv to be very careful on guiding my heart because im aware that, where your treasure is, there's your heart too. and im not that fool to put my heart on the money (but on what good the money can do) Im praying for wisdom!!

bete dehhhh sama BCA!!

2007-07-10T11:34:00.000+08:00

ihhh sebeeeel sama BCA!
ga bole sebut merek?
biarin!!

Ga tau kenapa, ive been always having bad image soal BCA. Pokoknya dari dulu sering bgt deh denger cerita buruk mengenai ini bank, terutama of course, customer servicenya yang semena-mena. Tapi makin lama, ya salut jg sama ini bank yg terus berusaha memperbaiki brand imagenya. Makin lama juga, BCA yang makin sering & banyak dipake business partner, temen2, & paling keliatan perkembangan teknologinya seperti internet banking, etc. Dan si papa pun skarang pakenya BCA. jadi (dengan berat hati) sayah 'terpaksa' memilih menggunakan BCA juga.

Oh yah, gak tau deh ini aku yang ndeso ato gimana, tapi baru tau ajah, kalo buka tabungan baru itu, musti at least setor 500 ribu tunai. Karena pas mau buka tabungan gak bawa cash sebanyak itu, yah aku sodorin si mbak cust servicenya kartu kredit BCA. Yang ada tazmanianya itu loh. Dan jujur saya jg hv no idea klao kartu itu, fungsinya cuma buat kartu kredit, gak bisa buat laen2. Mbaknya itu, yang mustinya udah kebiasa menghadapi pertanyaan sebodoh apapun, bengong gituh disodorin kartu kredit. Trus dia bilang, 'oh ini kartu kredit mbak. gunanya buat belanja.'

Do'oh! -.-"
maluuuuu rasanya hiks.. masa sih mbaknya ngira daku gak ngerti kartu kredit buat apaan? tp kan saya gak tauuuu kalo emang gak bisa pake itu kartu ambil cash (anggep aja belanja dan masukin bunga kreditnya hahaha) dan buat setoran awal. Wajah si mbak customer service itu lohhh.. as if it was the stupidest question ever!

Sebel sama BCA!
ga bole sebut merek?
biarinnn!!!!

Hubungan antara Mike & hamil ahahahahah.. jd malu..

2007-07-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

Beberapa minggu sebelomnya...

Kan jalan2 sama si lissa ke mall. Trus ngeliat baju merah gituh, on which, bukan titin banget dehhh.. titin pake merah? weird. Anyway, iseng, teteuph deh itu baju daku coba. ga punya baju model gituh, jd pengen ajah.. cuma emang, merah is so not my colour, jd tuh rada maksa. itu baju modelnya kaya baju hamil gituh huahauahaha. pas nyoba, si lissa (yang juga maksa nyoba) bilang, 'okay. red is not that gud on you.' tp menurut sayah, bagus-bagus aja tuh huahauahahaha.. tp karena kaga kepikir mau pake kmana & occassion apa, ga jd beli deh. Eh kepikir sih... ntar kalo hamil bisa pake ini baju. akh.. malu.. hihihihih lagian kapan hamilnya???

Jadi hubungannya Mike & hamil adalah...

Tadi kan jalan ke mall lg sama si mama. nah emang cari baju warna merah. kita berdua lg hunting baju warna merah. karena oh karena, si kungkung (opa) kalo ntar meninggal, keluarganya musti pake baju warna merah. karena dia meninggalnya udah tua, uda 90 taon lebih... tinggal nunggu waktu doang. gitu loh katanya menurut tradisi...

Nah terus, eh ngeliat lg deh tuh baju merah yang modelnya masih saya suka hahahahah. Jd tuh modelnya tuh ada tali iketannya di pinggang. cuma bagian dadanya yg ngepas. trus dari bawah dada ke perut (dan bajunya agak panjang) longgar gituh. kebayang gak? *hmm.. cowo2 geleng2?* Jadi, karena itu baju warnanya merah, keambil juga deh buat dicoba (masi penasaran... huahahahah).

Pas nyoba itu baju, si mama lsg bilang 'gak cocok bgt ni baju di kamu' whatttt?? hiks hiks... trus aku ngotot, 'ya kalo hamil bisa pake lg. ini kan baju hamil bgt' saat itulah.. si mama menyebut nama mike... *bukannya jawabin soal baju* setelah beberapa lama gak pernah ngomongin mike lg. terakhir pas si mike telpon si papa... Jadi, gitu deh. Ternyata, kalo ngomongin soal hamil, cucu, baby itu tuh nyambungnya semua ke Mike *menurut jalan pikirannya si mama* aih... i wonder why.. muahahahah boong bgt deh si titin!=p

spoooky

2007-07-03T19:55:00.000+08:00

It's quite weird going online & not seeing mike's in gtalk. Yep, im by myself tonight. and tomorrow nite. and maybe the nite after that. He's out of town with no computer or inet connection. These 3 days, im an sms person =)

So tonight, im gonna start reading my mary higgins book. It's always been a mystery or thriller story, so im preparing my mind to do the adventure again. I hope i can control it, especially because mike is not there to accompany me till i asleep. Im not afraid of ghost thingy, it's just sometimes my imagination that spook me. I've always been this emotional involved person with other ppl's problems, stories, and also soap opera! I usually dont watch ghost stories, but now im watching Ghost's Whisperer. I think the series is not that scary to watch, but as i said, it's my mind that making things scarier than the scenarios.

This afternoon as i watched one of the episode about a dead writer, i thought about this blog. If i suddenly died, the blog would still exist on the internet. Ppl dont know me might still be able to read my life stories even 5 yrs later & wondering why i dont post updates. I think its gonna be a little sad. Im now thinking about giving my account password to someone that hopefully life longer than ill be, so when i die, he can do the closing on the blog. Hmm.. i wonder who's the best person for the job. Hahah. see, my mind is totally freaking me out.

bad jokes.

2007-07-02T21:15:00.000+08:00

It is being said that we're all are part of cosmic joke. Coincidences, meetings, farewells, tragedies, human moments. But im saying that we're being part of God's sense of humor. And i just dont get it sometimes. Oh His jokes can be so meannn!!

I heard this story from a lady who's a great mum, great wife, and she was a chairman of an international company. She's a fighter, survivor, and a lover of God. All her life was attached to God. Here's the thing. She begun her carreer from the lowest level, from the scratch. With wisdom & prayer & hardwork, she managed to climb to the top. But then after she's on the highest ground, God called her to be a fulltimer. In church. Isnt it insane or what??? But she says she's happy, well that what she says. I say, yeah rite?!? hahahah.

Another true story. There's this man who's been called to be a fulltimer. But then he refused, and choose to open his own business, asking God's blessing. Don't we love the freewill God's giving us? Short story, he became a successful businessman & got rich. But someday, without any warning, there's a flood coming, destroying all of his commodity. And he broke. Then God's reminded him of the calling again, and this time, he's ready to follow God's voice. Hmm. Seriously? heheh.

no subject yet =p

2007-06-30T23:34:00.000+08:00

Look how fast days passing by~ the week is over, my break is over. Ugh.. let see what i've done these several free days. As i wrote before, I've stacked several dvd series & novels to accompany me relaxing & enjoying my last days before i hv to go back to work. Apparently, i havent even begun to read the novels, and i havent completed any of the series yet. My break was full & packed & jammed with the shop renovation stuffs, and i've got a new maid. Haha thats correct, i've got mbok baru... akhhh senangnya hahah. So these last 2 days i trained her to do the chores, whats need to be done & how to do it. She's from a small town in Java, unliterated, and very very polos. But at this point, i hv no so called expectation & so i think she's doing fine (see, i've turned down my perfectionist level. ha!).

Today, i went lunch with a very good friend of mine. We've been in distant for some reasons for a couple years i think, and today we've got a chance to catch up. It's quite along catching up that we hv to do, but hey, i think we made it efficient. hahahah. Anyway, i've been learning that God is working without boundaries & we sometimes cannot see the reasons behind. But maybe, being in dark is a requirement to pass the journey. Maybe sometimes all we need is a friend to go hand in hand & just remember god's promise that he never leaves us.

Then this afternoon i went to gramedia & bought a sewing basic book. Now, i wonder when i'll be having a time to practise. To erase the guilty feeling, i've been telling myself, ill do it when im pregnant & hv nothing to do at home & i cannot go anywere.' hahah. So up until this point, i've noted that ill do the sewing practice, starting to seriously write on my novel(s) idea, baking cakes on my recipes collection, and several other things. well im planning my pregnancy is going to be productive (boyfriend: yeah rite) (me: meannn!). i wanna make this a commitment, but.. hmm.. just wait & see =p

Talking about commitment, i remember something on a particular episode of Grey's Anatomy (for those who havent watched it, you guys are soooo yesterday. hahah). it kinda reminds me of something i experienced myself in my relationship. We all know that life's a learning process. And so does our relationship with ppl. but each one, with each person, has its own rules & distinction. every relationship is unique. since i graduate highschool, i've been having several relationships. each of them teach me different things. And my last one (and i hope it's gonna be the last one ever) teach me to be strong in commitment. this wasnt something new, but the relationship makes me see it from a different perspective. a bold one.

I never played games on my relationship. gambling on someone's heart & my heart is agaisnt my principle. but somehow, one of the important lesson kinda slipped before. but i know, this time is different because this time we're asking God to lead us thru. He never said its gonna be easy, but knowing we're not alone is such a precious feeling to hang on to.

So, when I & mike were in the early phase of the relationships, we had the commitment. but it was not real to me, until i experienced myself to pratice it. even as a new couple, we had fight, argument & disagreement. and every time we had a fight, i always cried because i was sorry for the misunderstanding, for the yelling, etc. i also scared & my mind was saying something like, 'oh no, are we breaking up? is it the end?' but before i thought about it so far, mike already hugged me, apologizing, revise the problem & we went thru it with flying colours. after each fight, i then believed that we're one of those perfect couple able to survive in whatever we're facing.

It happens many times, and i was starting tired. thinking about the worst could be happen over & over again is tiring & stressing. but the more i ancitipated it, it seems going further from happening. then by the time goes by, and after several serious talking session after arguments, i started to realize, that in this relationship i can stop thinking about breaking up each time we had different point of view. yes, i was that stupid. hahah.

Derek: I was a jerk. sometimes boyfriends can be jerks... It doesn't mean you stop talking to them... You get that I'm saying I'm sorry, right?
Meredith: You yelled at me for no reason, and you walked away, and now you show up here.
Derek: Of course I showed up. Why wouldn't I? You don't trust me?
Meredith: I do.
Derek: Well, this is how it works. You fight sometimes, and somebody apologizes.
Meredith: Well, how am I supposed to do that?
Derek: You've never done this before.
Meredith: No, I've never done this before.
Derek: Hmm... Okay... Alright... Well, this is... From now on you can expect, that I'm gonna show up. Even if I yell, even if you yell. I'm always gonna show up. Okay?
Meredith: Okay.

missing youuuuu!

2007-06-28T23:43:00.000+08:00

These last few days, i feel like i cannot feel anything. I know im feeling things, but somehow my brain just cannot process & tell myself what im really feeling. There are times when it suddenly hurt somewhere, happy at some time, or just sad, or mix of everything. But thank God, despite all my random feeling, i never felt hopeless. I know that somehow, i can get thru this. I just hv to.. hang on.

All i can say is, long distance relationship is suck. really suck. but as bad as it its, it's been amazing that I, the one with ego segede bagong & emotion meluap-luap & berbusa-busa kaya aer mendidih can be in it. oh if you're happen to know me, im a very irritating person regarding to language, communication & many more. So i guess, this is it. I hope this is the worst already of 'the missing him series' because i dont know if i can handle more than this. Im not someone whom nangis bombay just because i havent seen him for months, no. It's been a quite a journey for us, God knows.

Now, at this very being, im the one who's seems like running from everything. Maybe i need time, maybe i need to be away, maybe i need to be alone, not talking about this or whatever. But u know what, it's just not working. I keep missing him, i keep pushing myself to direct my mind away from the fact that im.missing.him. A friend said, i was just so lucky even just to hv him exist in my life, for real, a very decent guy loving me very much. And i said, no, its not enough for him just to be 'exist' i need to see him constantly. really, i just need to see him. and when i see him, its just not enough, i need to know whats next, i need to know where God wants us to go, i need to know the end. And its even more suck that i hv to accept the fact, all i have to do, all i can do - to be exact - just wait.

I dont think im thinking clearly now, but i think... i think, when sometimes we feel just numb and we're questioning, 'do i love him?' then the answer is yes, we do. Because if we dont, then we wouldnt question it, would we? am i blabbering??? %#@^#@# And for now, i dont know if we're meant to be together, but i have just hv my faith. even if sometimes i hv my questions, doesnt always mean im questioning myself. Maybe, it's my heart questioning God.

Now, the weirdest thing is, for my every question, i got the answer. How? Well.. apparently, my boyfriend, my fiancee, whatever i call him, is just perfect for now & for the future, i just hv my faith on it. You know, im a sok tau person, and i just love to guess what's happening next. So i used to guess the answer to my question before the time reveals. And i get it wrong all the time. Because this mr mcdreamy always answered me more than i could expect. He's got the patient i need, the exact words supply on the exact time, and many many more. Coincidence? I dont believe in coincidence. Maybe he's just a sweet talker.. duhhhh i dont know and for now, i just dont wanna know. Ill just let the time reveals... Erghhh... starting now.

On my mind.

2007-06-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

Mike, all the best buat sidang kamu.
Finally, after 4 years... tomorrow is the day =)

As i hear & see things God done in ur life, i can see clearly that u're one of them that can be called, the blessed one.
Being with you now in the journey, i think i know, why you're blessed.

Papa & mama, i wish you well in Singapore.
May God be with you, giving you strength for ur both health & happiness.

Riva, i've been always and will always praying for you, praying with you.
Just have a faith that u're gonna be happy, because i have it too =)

Someone from the past i prefer not to mention the name, good luck, because i know u believe in luck =)
I just hv one wish, that u got what u're searching for & be happy.
Oh and also quit the drink.

Anger management

2007-06-26T21:58:00.000+08:00

I do realize that i need seriously handling my emotion. i get upset on small things, or losing my temper just because something isnt according to my way. but im gladly say, that im better now=) im (trying & willing to) lowering my standard as a perfectionist - come on ppl, say with me now: amen!!!

I thought I was born this way... u know, with bad temper, unstable mood, and because im a girl, i hv the excuse of being hormonal. But i know that is absurd. No one is being punished to be angry all the time because it's tiring, frustating, and destructing. Not just myself but also ppl around me. Being angry is just a normal thing. but when it happens all the time, and you got frustated because you feel you cannot control it, then u know that it's not normal.

No one's born perfect, and it's not a flaw of God's work. We're born that way because we need to do our part in this life, and to realize, with that imperfection, we can still do things perfectly with God's strength. And when it's done with satisfaction, we know that it's God's so we know that we're blessed.

When i was a teenager, when the rage is a part of my personality, i thought that it was a kind of curse. I was unhappy, i was mad to the way the world goes round. As a teenager, we see things differently. So it doesnt matter if we're a smart student, or rich, or pretty, or popular. Back then, i have good friends & i pretty much sharing my life with them; but of course, i hide my anger. I thought that's the way it is. i hide the anger, because it never occured to me to cut the root of it. I thought there's nothing i could do about it. all i did was trying to survive so that no one knows what's inside my heart. And i was curious, whether my friends are keeping their secrets too.

When i decided to humble myself to seek for help, i know that i cannot hide it any longer. I was scared, but only by opening my heart & confess my weakness, i can be saved. Because when we ourselves deny the truth, it's like you hide your wound, and it's getting worse over time. It's like you're having cancer but you refuse to let the doctor operate on it. Even the tiniest of the cancer gene, could eventually kill you.

But now, pretty much, i know that each person has a sort of anger hiding in themself, need to be healed. My advise is, just admit to urself that you're somehow angry, or unsatisfied with the thing or person, and work on it. It might be on hard relationship, or something you simply just have to give up but you just hard to let it go. First thing first, you have to turn off the ego & pride, and ask for God's help. Dont ever think, 'im not religious' or 'i dont see the connection between this stuff & god', just remember that only God can help you because He created you, he knows what's on ur heart, on ur mind. And be passionate, be strong, be patient & hold on to Him all the time because it's not an overnight work. It's an ongoing process, it needs time. Sometimes u'll get tired & u slipped your anger in between. and thats okay. the only thing matter is, you're trying your best, and not giving up.

petuah neng titin on the break.

2007-06-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

Im on break beibehhh!! no les jait, no tasks for a week. It actually started on saturday, when i & lissa went to our shopping spree hahahha.. see, when we're scheduled to go shopping, usually we got dissapointed, but it is really happening when we just take it easy & go slow. we actually didnt see it coming though.. we never purposely go to the mall for clothes, but yesterday we got some shirts with great prices anyway. then unexpectedly, esprit was on sale, soooo.. well u can guess the rest=p

And for the week, i've got season 6 of 24 series, the last episodes of season 3 grey's anatomy, the last season of the o.c, and season 2 ghost's whisperer. hmm.. what else.. owh, i've got 2 mary higgins clark's books, and of cos a stack of chocolate from various brands. Definetely on break!

I just remember that i've got women's conference on my schedule, on tuesday & wednesday. unfortunately, my parents are out of town, my driver is on break too, and... i dont think i wanna drive along until dark since the conference is up to quite late. So.. eventhough the conference's theme is about how to be a wiser woman, i think it's definetely wiser if i dont drive to the conference.

I know i've never wrote on the blog before, that i had been juggling between 2 great churches. Both has bold characters, both are awesome! So i've been waiting for God's answer which one is better, the best of the best. I think now im starting to see which one im belong to =) If you wonder why we hv to stick to one church, it's because church is a community where we're planted & grow. Imagine if a plant is always moved around from one ground to another, would it grow? no, slowly but sure, it's dead. The church gives us water, sun, air, and good vertilizer for our spirit & soul. We'd know it is the rite church not because it's got bigger building, nicer people, better service, but we'd know that it's the one when the time is rite, you know you're growing. Dont rush, just take it slow & easy... it sometimes comes when u least expecting it =)

Sometimes when life's is hard on you in the church, and u then going around looking for the perfect church, just remember that there's no such thing! We need God, we're going to church because we're far far far away from perfect. So dont expect u got it all like you wanted. You dont go to church where everything is easy to get & make good friends. When life's hard on you, what you need to do is go on with ur life like everything is normal. It is the time to prove your faith, and see how low you can go. Church is a community of sick people trying to seek help. But when you go into the service and you feel that you're sick because you're a sinner, just remember that you've crossed the line, that you've made a decision to humble yourself enough to seek for god's help, and the hell with everything else. Oopss.

I remember this joke about looking for the perfect church. A man looking for the perfect church. He's been going in & out churches, because he found flaws in all of them. But then he found the one he's been looking for. The perfect church. But guess what? He's rejected from the church. The minister said, 'this is the perfect church. you're not allowed to go in. because if you're in, then it's not perfect anymore.' So hang on to your church, and deal with what God want you to deal with.

going pink =D

2007-06-24T22:39:00.000+08:00

Im so happy with my new pink diary. muahahaha.. and guess watttt.. it matched with my pink bible! =p

ngember.

2007-06-24T21:34:00.000+08:00

Okay, today is time for ngember, and learning Michaelnism (an approach to understand mike). the word 'ngember' is not even Indonesian. it's one of the michaelnism adapted from Beijing gank. its meaning can be anything, but in general, it is an expression.

For example, when we're surprised, we can shout 'embeeeer' ('em' is read like 'am' in word 'amber'; 'ber' is like reading 'bear' - but if your mother tounge is not indonesian, u need a lot of practice to pronounce it correctly). Another example is when we're angry, the tone is sharp & short, just say like you mean it: ember!!

As the title of the post, 'ngember' is an act of doing it. When you use 'ember' many times in a periode, or when you're blabbering, you are being ngember. The uniqueness of ngember is, you can adapt it to situation & condition. Happy trying! =)

oh.. Kristen, ya mbak?

2007-06-21T17:12:00.000+08:00

Seorang teman lama berkata kepada saya, 'ya.. kamu enak tin, bisa bener-bener taat beragama, karena km kan pindah dari agama laen.' Waktu itu saya mikir, idih apa hubungannya yah? Kaga ada hubungannya kan yah pindah agama, dengan bisa ketemu Tuhan beneran.

Rupanya dia beranggapan, kalo orang bisa 'pindah agama' itu, karena mengalami terobosan spiritual yang besar sekali, sampai-sampai memutuskan untuk 'pindah tuhan' juga. Ujung-ujungnya, temen saya ini bilang lagi, 'yah tuhan kan cuma satu, semua sama.' Hmm.. kurang konsisten dia ini.

Iya, saya sependapat 'tuhan itu cuma satu', ya iyalah, masa tuhan satu regu gituh buat langit & bumi? Mengenai 'terobosan spiritual yang besar', mungkin bisa saya katakan iya, saya baru kali itu, waktu saya memutuskan untuk 'pindah agama' itu, saya merasakan dengan segenap hati & jiwa, 'Great is God!' Mungkin ada banyak orang yang mengalami sesuatu yang ajaib, mistis, ataupun mungkin mengalami sesuatu yg diluar akal sehat. Tapi waktu itu saya hanya mengalami suatu metanoia, suatu pencerahan mengenai keberadaan saya di bumi ini, dan tiba-tiba segala sesuatunya menjadi jelas & masuk akal dengan cara yang istimewa. Saya mencoba untuk berpikir, tapi tidak yang bisa saya pikirkan selain, 'Tuhan itu sungguh ada, dan saya melihat Dia!' Saya mencoba merasakan apa yang terjadi, tetapi perasaan meluap-luap yg baru pertama kali saya rasakan menghalangi seluruh indera saya untuk berfungsi dengan baik (atau malah untuk pertama kalinya begitu siap & peka?). Sungguh, 'pindah agama' itu keputusan saya dalam waktu hanya sedetik. Atau kurang, mungkin. Batasan waktu terasa kabur, dan sungguh, rasanya berada dalam pelukan Bapa sorgawi, tidak terlukiskan dengan kata-kata.

Saya pribadi, tidak pernah merasa 'pindah agama'. Saya hanya merasa dari tidak mengenal Tuhan, sekarang jadi kenal. Itu saja. Begitu banyak jalan untuk mencari Tuhan, tetapi saya menemukannya di gereja. Apakah ini pindah agama namanya? Akh, kita gak usah ngomongin agama aja ya? Bingung.. Karena menurut pendapat saya, agama itu malah sifatnya agak-agak manusiawi. Soalnya Tuhan tidak pernah menciptakan agama. Agama, aliran, itu dibuat manusia yang ingin menyesuaikan kebutuhan spiritualnya dengan adat istiadat, tata krama, agar nyaman & cocok dengan caranya menyembah Tuhan. Jadi, jangan disebut 'pindah agama', bilang yang netral aja, 'mencari Tuhan.'

Tentunya sebagian besar dari kita mendapat pelajaran agama, Tuhan menciptakan langit, bumi beserta isinya, termasuk manusia. Jadi secara rasional, kalau kita ingin mengerti mengenai diri kita sendiri & mengapa kita hidup, kita harus bertanya kepada sang pencipta, yaitu Tuhan. Misalnya ada alat penemuan baru yang kita tidak mengerti fungsi & cara menggunakannya, tentunya kita bertanya kepada pembuatnya, kan? Kalau sebuah benda saja dibuat dengan tujuan, apalagi kita, manusia? Dan tidak ada yang bisa menjawab mengenai manusia sejelas penciptanya.

Banyak orang bertanya kepada dukun, ahli nujum, ahli astrologi, mencocokkan sifat-sifat manusia dengan sifat binatang. Ya semuanya sah-sah aja sih, tapi efektif gak sih? Kenapa gak langsung tanya ke Tuhan? Hmm.. lebih susah kali ya, karena mikirnya gak langsung dapet jawaban di telinga. Jadi mikirnya, pake perantara aja, gitu. Cuma kalo dipikir lagi, Tuhan sih sedih kali ya, bisa nanya langsung, kenapa gak nanya langsung ke Tuhan? Soal dijawab atau nggak, itu tentunya terserah Tuhan. Kalo kita mencari Dia sungguh-sungguh, masa Dia tega
gak jawab kita?

Balik lagi ke waktu saya seketika merasa mengerti mengenai keberadaan saya di dunia, ketika merasakan dekatnya Tuhan dengan saya, hati saya berkata, 'iya'. Iya, untuk melayani Tuhan. Iya, untuk mengabdikan hidup saya untuk Tuhan. Setelah moment-moment saya berdialog dengan tuhan itu berlalu, saya mulai berpikir, bagaimana caranya. Dengan akal sehat, saya menyusun langkah-langkahnya. Pertama, saya perlu tahu mengenai Tuhan. Apa yang Dia suka, apa keinginan hatiNya. Yang terpenting, apa yang dia ingin saya lakukan untuk Dia. Setiap
benda yang manusia ciptakan, masing-masing memiliki tugas khusus, yang fungsinya hampir tidak bisa digantikan benda lainnya. Pisau tidak bisa menggantikan gunting, begitu juga sebaliknya. Begitu juga dengan manusia yang bahkan sangat unik, bahkan anak kembar pun tidak bisa saling menggantikan kedudukannya di mata orang tuanya.

Jadi saya mulai berdoa, minta Tuhan untuk memberikan pengertian kepada saya. Tidak susah, tapi juga bukan hal mudah, untuk membuka hati kepada hal yang sama sekali baru. Tetapi bagi mereka yang mengalami jamahan Tuhan seperti yang saya alami, sungguh tidak dapat dipunggkiri, Tuhan itu nyata! Saya membaca Alkitab, karena bagi saya pribadi, disanalah tercantum segala sesuatu mengenai Tuhan. Bukan hanya cara beribadah, cara hidup, tetapi kata-kata Tuhan yang terasa hidup & menjadi jawaban-jawaban bagi saya.

Banyak orang yang saya kenal maupun tidak kenal, sering bertanya, 'mbak, kristen ya mbak?' 'oh lu skarang kristen?' Biasanya saya jawab, 'iya'. Tapi dalam hati mikir, apa jawaban iya saya itu memberikan pengertian yang sama dengan yang mereka mengerti? Karena bagi saya, ke gereja setiap hari minggu & membaca Alkitab, bukanlah kegiatan yang memposisikan saya di agama tertentu. Saya hanya mencari Tuhan. Bukan agama.

Retorical question... is it?

2007-06-20T23:23:00.000+08:00

Will you be my shoulder, when im grey and older...?

High, James Blunt

Life lesson

2007-06-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

In the past 2 yrs, i've been struggling much harder than i've had before. After college, i went back home & already got a project contract to sign, 2 days after i arrived. It was even before my graduation ceremony. At that time, i felt like life's been easy for me. What i didnt know, that was just the beginning. After a while there were mile stones, rainy days, stormy weeks, and happy & sad tears. I made new friends, new colleagues, experienced new things. There are those times when i felt completely lost of track of what im doing, where i stand in life, or where im going. Minutes, hours, weeks, months just passing away. But i was happy enough to know that i have the strength to go thru the day.

After being 'tortured' in the workplace for a year without any oikos around, i went back to school, this time in Beijing. It was supposed to be a camp refuge, but i was dissapointed realizing that moving to places dont make things better. I prayed and i prayed for what my heart desire, but after being empty for a long time made me forgot, i live in God's purpose. So i did the right thing by faith. Seeking His face, seeking His plan, and ask for His directions. Still, i didnt know what to do but i just do my part anyway (it includes reading the bible, keep praying, keep the faith high, be involved in my oikos). Walking with his direction, doesnt mean that we're free from trials & errors. There are things that we dont feel rite, but God allows us to do anyway. So we wont do it again in the future, at the time we're in the real battle of life.

As i look back, then i could see what God intended to do at the time. Sometimes we feel that we just dont know what is happening, and all we hv to do is just trusting him & do our part. There were sleepless nights when i asked Him to let me out of the problems & ugly situations. Or when i keep thinking what exactly his plan, just because i cannot see the reasons behind. But now, im saying, thank God i didnt know more than i needed to know. Maybe if i did, i wouldnt be able to go thru it because i'd use my human brain instead of walk on faith. It was a life lesson, that eventhough we dont know where we stand in the path of life, but if we're attached to the Master, things gonna be easier. I mean, who knows better than Him?

It's up to us whether to follow his direction, or just walk alone. But if we decide to follow Him, nothing to lose, rite? We life only once, and we should live to the fullest.

Food for soul

2007-06-16T00:31:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Mike for the sharing.
It opened my heart, refreshed my soul, & lead me to broader point of view.

And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, so that they could seek the Lord, in hope that they may grope for Him and find Him though He is not far from each one of us.
Act 18:26-27.

I hv a girl friend, the only child, very very rich, very very pretty, very very outstanding in her study & career. And i thought, if she's not so 'perfect', maybe she'll not so lonely and she'd found God. Why oh why God give her everything she has, if it's being a trait for finding the only thing can fulfil her needs (if you're so rich, pretty, and u hv all that glitters but still wondering why u're unhappy, u could be crazy since u dont know what wrong with u). I hv the questions for years. But now, i guess i shouldnt question more, since only God knows what best for her. And this is the best. God has put each one of us in the exact perfect place where we can find him.

Secrets ill tell ^.*

2007-06-15T00:25:00.000+08:00

* random weirdness & deepest desire *

i never open my bedroom door more than 5 secs, to prefent illegal intrusion by CICAK reptile. I hate cicak so much because it's just plain disgusting. no other reason.

so far i've killed 3 cicak reptile with my bare hands, hmm i mean i was holding baygon and spray them brutally with the insectiside. Of cos, they dont die in the spot, they'd suffered first & then i'd call on my brother to take them out. and because i use a massive amount of baygon (about 0.25 bottle per cicak reptile), i'd hv to mop the floor after that, with satisfaction.

i love sms much more than phone calls. i sometimes reluctantly answer to phones but tend to reply messages quickly. i dont like to spend hours on the phone so it's amazing that im having a long distance relationships remembering my only hope is the phone. hmmm what goes around comes around, huh.

i only sleep on white sheets, just because it looks clean & neat. i always wanna hv a house in country style with warm (homey) bedroom, living room & kitchen. in that case, i dont mind sleep on flowery bad cover=p i want an antique bathroom with the antique bathtub. hmm... but i dont wanna clean it myself heheh.

i eat nasi bungkus everyday, in the last 2 months. so it contains rice with various small amounts of everything wrapped together. i never care of what comes with the rice, as long as it is wrapped together & u can call it 'nasi bungkus' heheh.

my wardrobe is a mess. i always wanna hv a bigger one, or add 'one' more closet but of course enough is never enough. so once in a blue moon, i'd clean the closets by throwing away my never used dresses, shirts, bags, sometimes with still hanging label on it. i know, i know, my bad. my mum would take them all & give them to the needs, or if she's in confident mood, she'd wear it
herself. oh and the closets, of cos it's gonna be full again in a couple of months.

im at worst on deciding small things such as, choosing desktop wallpaper, blog templates, and random unuseful stuffs. i'd never get myself to decide on them. but ill eventually choose the most basic one. the one with earthy colours, simple, and... if i hv to use it for 20 years, i wouldnt mind.

i'd say this one is mike's secret. mike is extremelly weird, but it's still a mystery, how come, im in love with him. but i'd like to sing natalie grant's song in the wedding,

'it's always been a mystery to me, how two hearts can come together, and love can lasts forever....
but now that I have found you, I believe that a miracle has come, when God sends the perfect one
now gone are all my questions about why, and I've never been so sure of anything in my life....'

opps.. i did it again -.-"

2007-06-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

Okay, today i did a few stupid mistakes.

I accidentally deleted my blog template & then i (accidentally) erased all of the entire year notes in my mobile.

So, thats the story behind the new look.
My stupidity.

THE I HEART REVOLUTION

2007-06-09T20:55:00.001+08:00

Being SAVED
costs NOTHING.

Being a DISCIPLE
costs EVERYTHING.

Daily Essentials

jarang nge-blog karena...

sewa pompa asi - bali

Today.

Asix

Popo, Kungkung & AΰdƦĩ

A big leap.

2mos Audrina Deborah Setia

Enjoying motherhood & breastfeeding

New mates on pregnacy...

No, it's not Eve's fault

:)

Curhat (nggak) penting banget.

boring afternoon.

Grumpiness kills.

I see them everywhere.

wish.

Maybe u need my explanation.

my broken ♥ caused by this.

Emergency

Here and now.

another love letter

battlefield of the mind.

in the mood for romance

kok sepi bgt si hr ini?!

i am neurotic.

confession of the plastic seller.

i and u and them.

normalization.

huh.

Justice or God's favour?

this weekend.

today.

fact sheet: javelin 8900

Confession of a Blackberry Addict (part one)

what's on.

Madame Korner - March Promotion

daily stuffs

whishes

my regular kind of day

Therapy

By request

Madame Korner - Imlek Promotion

daily schedule

Indecisive is gud. yes? no?

Amazing-skin maker

It's nothing personal, it's just business

Dear Valuable Customers,

Narsis

simplifying my mind

life matters

hmphhhh

brainy me

On the quiet sessions...

Desperately need the pdc session

Rumour has it...

strike's over!! wooohooo

the pain.

my bad

dream, hope, and dream.

Iklan =p

blahhh

what i realize today.

The Time Traveler's Wife

intimidated

One way.

Horrors for fun (pfffttt... what was i thinking)

curhatnya "anak pembantu"

a worry side of me

Jealousy

Money, money, money

bete dehhhh sama BCA!!

Hubungan antara Mike & hamil *ahahahahah.. jd malu..*

spoooky

bad jokes.

no subject yet =p

missing youuuuu!

On my mind.

Anger management

petuah neng titin on the break.

Hubungan antara Mike & hamil ahahahahah.. jd malu..